I suppose it was bound to happen sooner or later.
“Ross?” the dude goes, pulling a face at me across the net. “Ross O’Carroll-Kelly?”
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‘I’m not having a Terenure College Christmas tree in the house’
'Honor isn’t for everyone. She takes after her old man in that regord'
The neighbours have visions of the Vico Road turning into Morbella
‘Schoolbooks shmoolbooks ... I didn’t do a tap at school and look at me’
‘Newpork is famous for kids with pierced lips...They don’t even care about rugby’
'It’s Halloween week and we’re living in a house that’s, like, haunted – literally'
'I’ve been shocked by the change that has come over my daughter since we moved to Terenure'
'Already I feel like I’ve created a team in my image – in other words, winners'
'I’m a big believer in overpraising my children. Never did me any horm as a kid'
'Honor storts screaming at the top of her lungs. But no one hears her. Because mine are louder'
'Ronan is a – what’s the word – Republican? As in, he’s got the names of the whole crew from 1915 tattooed on his upper orm'
'The girls are staring at me in just, like, awe – they’re ready to learn from the master'
‘Just because I’m a serial liar doesn’t mean that I can’t be trusted’
‘How much would it mean to the girls storting school here to have the legendary Ross O’Carroll-Kelly teaching them rugby?’
‘Sorcha Lalor, you were the best Dalkey Lobster Festival Queen we ever had’
I’m lying by the pool, doing my daily sit-ups with my top off, when I hear Honor go, ‘Oh, for fock’s sake! Not these two focking clowns!
‘Pissing in a swimming pool is a bit like farting at Mass. The trick is to squeeze it out quietly’
What are the girls in Mount Anville going to say when they find out you’re living in a housing estate?
I look fantastic for a man of 42, abs like speed bumps and pecs like bay windows
‘No focking way. I’m not breaking into the dude’s office’
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