Nick Duffell has had a very varied career, which has include working as a teacher, a carpenter, a divorce mediator, a psychotherapist, and a psycho historian. He is the author of The Making of Them. Nick book about boarding school was groundbreaking when it was first published and provoked a backlash. Whilst we featured several previous conversations about boarding school, we thought, when reading his book, that it might have been well have been subtitled, A History of How the British Disliked Their Children.
Nick is the author of a number of books, several relevant to our topic.
Trauma, Abandonment and Privilege: A guide to therapeutic work with boarding school survivorshttps://www.amazon.co.uk/Trauma-Abandonment-Privilege-Nick-Duffell/dp/1138788716/ref=sr_1_1?dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.Jjql9XE6-nGXpxja6GmdvnbYRY1tkuTGFBC3Vm_sbmM0pscihCOPLN5bulgJdr6mEIJftd5ZQYjVnxbSkJyTNw6bY1-b8dA4nGTnkhT20M6wlVEgY7jRUAx4bcmBYQ0p.RwbrV-VOw6gjHrOLUM5LluC8zJcWZxaoAc7pYHTbs40&dib_tag=se&qid=1710784370&refinements=p_27%3ANick+Duffell&s=books&sr=1-1
Summary
Nick Duffel discusses the origins and impact of boarding schools in Britain. He explains that the British tradition of sending children to boarding schools dates back to the Middle Ages and was formalized in the 19th century to produce leaders for the British Empire. The boarding school system has become central to British culture, with many aspiring families sending their children to these schools. However, there has been a lack of reflection on the psychological impact of boarding schools, and the psychotherapy profession has been slow to address this issue. The boarding school culture has influenced British society, creating a top-down mentality and an entitlement complex among leaders. This has led to a lack of focus on children's needs and a contemptuous attitude towards younger people. This conversation explores the impact of boarding schools on individuals' emotional intelligence, decision-making, attitudes towards women and migrants, and intimate relationships. It delves into the militaristic and hyper-masculine nature of boarding schools and the purposeful disconnection from femininity. The conversation also examines the influence of boarding schools on attitudes towards intellectualism and the performative nature of intellectualism. It distinguishes between rebels and compliers among boarding school survivors and highlights the challenges of working with ex-boarders in therapy. The conversation concludes with insights on personal well-being and self-care.
Takeaways
Chapters
00:00Introduction and Background
03:38The Origins of Boarding Schools in Britain
04:07The Psychological Impact of Boarding Schools
10:51The Influence of Boarding Schools on British Culture
16:20The Lack of Reflection on Boarding School Impact
25:27The Un-child-focused Attitude in British Society
28:59The Entitlement Complex and Contempt for Younger People
29:46The Challenges Faced by Young People Today
31:12The Psychological Impact of Boarding School Training
31:36The Disconnect from Vulnerability
32:07The Importance of Emotional Intelligence
32:35The Impact of Emotional Disconnection on Decision-Making
33:08The Influence of Emotional Input on Decision-Making
34:11The Effects of Boarding School on Attitudes Towards Women and Migrants
35:03The Militaristic and Hyper-Masculine Nature of Boarding Schools
35:24The Purposeful Disconnection from Femininity
36:50The Introduction of Girls to Boarding Schools
37:17The Impact of Boarding School on Intimate Relationships
39:07The Influence of Boarding School on Attitudes Towards Intellectualism
42:46The Performative Nature of Intellectualism
43:13The Perception of Boris Johnson's Cleverness
44:29Rebels vs. Compliers
46:37The Impact of Boarding School on Personal Development
51:26The Journey to Well-Being
50. Alison Liebling capturing the quality of prison life
49. Kirstine Szifris . Teaching philosophy in a high secure prison.
48. Richard Beard. The training of our ‘elite‘. Repression of empathy in public schools
47. Christina Straub: Love - the most dangerous word in prisons
46. Lydia Guthrie: probation and Crittendens Dynamic Maturational Model of Attachment and Adaptation.
45. Luisa Schneider: Homelessness, intimacy and prisons
44. Jayne Price. How children in custody transition into adult prisons
43. Simon Partridge, Upper class parenting trauma and Boarding school syndrome and the impact on the UK
42. Knut Sorenson:What’s it like to work in a Norwegian prison?
41. Michael West. Compassionate Leadership in the NHS
40. Baz Dreisinger : Author of Incarceration Nations: A Journey to Justice in Prisons Around the World
39. David Pilgrim & Pat Harvey (BPS Watch): The toxic culture of the British Psychological Society
38. Sarah Paget: Therapeutic communities and enabling environments
37. Sarah Jane Lennie: Robocop - how police culture dehumanises
36. Paul Bradford. Emotional Literacy in the police service.
35. Lucy Baldwin:what’s it like to be an imprisoned mother?
34. Jan Banning: Artivist challenging the system
33. Jo Brittan. Sexual abuse and entitlement in the english public school system
32. Christoph Heubner; Poet and Vice President of the International Auschwitz Committee.
31. Dennis Relojo-Howell: How blogging can help your mental health
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