I Feel Snitty with Craig Rozniecki
News:Politics
"Griftin'" (to the tune of Clarence Carter's "Strokin'")
When he’s not grabbing butts
And mute, judging stuff
He be griftin’
Morning, noon, insurrection
He be griftin’
He grifts from the living
And then he grifts from the dead
He’ll grift from anyone on this planet or the next
He be griftin’
He’s ‘bout to sell somethin’
How much money are you willing to give him?
Would you buy a quarter for a quarter-mill?
Would you give up your farm for a lifetime of Swiss cheese?
He’s ‘bout to sell you this
“Trade your cows for a gallon of milk”
He’s ‘bout to sell you this
“Give me 15 million and I’ll stop windmill cancer”
He ‘members when his mistress was diagnosed with windmill cancer
He started a GoFundMe; laughed; and said, “April Fool’s, y’all”
He’s griftin’, yeah, he always does, he be griftin’
He grifts from the living
And then he grifts from the dead
He’ll grift from anyone on this planet or the next
He be griftin’
He’s ‘bout to sell somethin’
Would you believe anything he tells ya?
That a knife was a sandwich?
Jesus was a white man?
A robe was a puppy?
Or how about that he and his wife are all cute and innocent?
‘Member, no puppy is full of that much sh*t
He spews it every which way
Yeah, he’s griftin’
He be griftin’
He grifts from the living
And then he grifts from the dead
He’ll grift from anyone on this planet or the next, sh*t
He be griftin’
Now, when this guy starts dealin’, I mean stealin’
He doesn’t care who in the hell he’s hurtin’
Because a creepy smile appears when this happens
Whenever that creepy smile appears, we do start dealin’
We say, “Clarence Thomas, Clarence Thomas, Clarence Thomas
Clarence Thomas, f*ck you, Clarence Thomas”
Other day: “Celebratin’ Christmas early!”
“Gonna get me a grift box and grift certificate”
Went to the store to screw people over
He held a box with a blank certificate
Said, “Hundredth donor gets the prize; you’ll be surprised as…” Woo!
He be griftin’… Cloak and dagger
He be griftin’
He grifts from the living
And then he grifts from the dead
He’ll grift from anyone on this planet or the next, sh*t
He be griftin’
He be griftin’… Cloak and dagger
He be griftin’, oath
He be griftin’
And he grifts from the rich
And he grifts from the poor
He grifts from everyone
He even grifts from his whores, ooh
He be griftin’
He be griftin’
He be griftin’
Books
https://www.amazon.com/Craig-Rozniecki/e/B00JBQ95LO
https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki
https://www.facebook.com/AuthorCraigRozniecki/
Blog
https://thekind-heartedsmartaleck.blogspot.com/
YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOPLDCBGkbzDh0PMUneNQ3A
”G-O-N-E” (parody based on the Nat King Cole song, ”L-O-V-E”)
”The Man Is Deranged” (parody based on The Doors’ song, ”People Are Strange”)
”Cray” (parody based on the Dean Martin song, ”Sway”)
The Most Important Speech in the History of Speech Thingies
Crazy Uncle Tommy
”You get a lawsuit! You get a lawsuit! Everyone gets a fracking lawsuit!”
Denial Is Just a River in Trumplandia
The Stupidest Post in the World
The Non-Conceding Concession
A Worldwide Laxative
Make America Sane Again
The Cult of Trump?
Science Is a Chinese Hoax
Nothing Plain About Savannah
”Clue”: Trumponavirus Edition - Part 3 (”But here’s what really happened.” Maybe.)
”Clue”: Trumponavirus Edition - Part 2 (”But how about this?”)
”Clue”: Trumponavirus Edition - Part 1 (”This is what could have happened.”)
”Tweeting Some Lies” (parody based on the Neil Diamond song, ”Sweet Caroline”)
”The Trumpanzees” (parody based on the Marilyn Manson song, ”The Nobodies”)
”The Donald Fan” (parody based off the Billy Joel song, ”Piano Man”)
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