The Power Of Words | Judges 5 & 8 | Larry Ray

In this sermon, Larry speaks from a place of wisdom, experience, and heartfelt concern for relationships. Drawing on decades of pastoral ministry and premarital counseling, he shares one of eight key principles he believes are essential for building, strengthening, or healing relationships: the incredible power of our words.

Larry begins by pointing out how many relationships feel like they control us, dragging us along rather than us leading them. But biblically, especially through Jesus' example, we are meant to lead in our relationships—not by force, but with service and intention. One of the most powerful ways to lead, he says, is through our words.

Larry emphasizes that words have the power to create or destroy. From the opening verses of Genesis, where God speaks creation into being, to Genesis 3, where Satan uses words to usher in destruction, Larry shows how scripture affirms this power. He uses two stories from the book of Judges to contrast wise, humble speech (Gideon’s response to angry tribesmen, which prevented conflict) with rash, defensive speech (Jephthah’s reaction, which led to war and 42,000 deaths). The message is clear: how we speak matters—deeply.

Citing both Paul (Ephesians 4) and Peter (1 Peter 3), Larry teaches that words can either invite the Holy Spirit’s presence and blessing or open the door to evil. He underscores that our speech is never neutral—it brings either life or death (Proverbs 18). Words of comparison, belittling, shaming, lying, and arrogance corrode relationships, while words of encouragement, truth, blessing, and humility bring healing.

Larry shares personal insights about how being a “non-mentioner” (someone who doesn’t naturally share feelings or thoughts) can inadvertently harm loved ones. He urges everyone—especially those who find verbal expression difficult—to speak anyway. Love and trust can only grow when people know each other’s hearts, and hearts are revealed through words.

He closes with practical wisdom: avoid “death words,” don’t tarnish people’s dignity, don’t lie (even in the name of kindness), and intentionally speak life-giving words—words that build, heal, and express love. Even if we struggle to use words well, Larry encourages us to start speaking anyway—clumsily if necessary—because silence cannot communicate love or truth.

Discussion Questions

1. Reflect: What kinds of words do I most often use in my closest relationships—life-giving or life-taking? How do others experience my speech?

2. Apply: Can I recall a time when someone’s gentle, wise words de-escalated a conflict in my life? What made their words so effective?

3. Repent: Are there “death words” I’ve used recently that need to be confessed and repaired? Who might I need to apologize to this week?

4. Act: What are some specific ways I can be more intentional about speaking life-giving words to my spouse, kids, friends, or coworkers?

5. Grow: If I struggle with verbal communication, what are one or two small steps I can take to begin expressing my heart more openly?