Les and Kurt regale Jason (and all of us) with stories of their very eventful week in Indianapolis and the consequences of wearing a tiny backpack into a museum stacked with overzealous security. The guys also offer a brief Blac Cyna report of her real first name (hint: it's not as suspenseful a reveal as last week's Gilligan bombshell). Then, they finally welcome Lifetime's The Wrong Child into your homes, though it takes him a while to get into the house because he's walking so. very. slow. You'd walk slow, too, if you had Paul Lynde as your white trash dad! But at least it will give you time to do some serious financial planning (what else is Lifetime for, after all?), learn about secret DNA testing best practices, and thoughtful vandalism that won't cause any damage to your Airbnb. The one still answered question: how does one bring an entire hidden camera crew to the scene of a crime if one doesn't have a car? Only Jody from Family Affair knows.
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Theme song generously donated by purple-planet.com
The Wedding Veil Expectations is not in the Same League as I Love Lucy Because it’s Filled With Clapper Jokes rather than Jokes about Microsoft Clippy
Are My Friends Killers Or Are They the Park Ranger School of Acting Class of ’22?
The Ghosts of Christmas Always Will Visit You to Keep You from Watching the Punky Brewster Reboot
The Holiday Sitter Helps Hallmark Make Strides with Inclusive Content Even as It Shames Hawaiian Holiday Vacations
Steel Yourself, You’re Not Gonna See a Unit in My Southern Family Christmas, but You Will See Bruce Campbell, Moira Kelly, and a Nick Cannon Advent Calendar of Babies
Three Wise Men and a Baby and a QR Code to Buy Hallmark Wine
Lindsay Lohan is Falling for Christmas in Netflix’s (Unauthorized) Sequel to Overboard and Unbreakable We Didn’t Know We Needed
Deadly Garage Sale Isn’t Profitable Despite An Office Evite Promoting Grossly Overpriced Pine Cones
Let’s Get Physical with Jenna Dewan + Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelas’ Son in a Tale of Double Standards and George Goebel
Luke MacFarlane Tries to Score at Taking a Shot at Love but Puck Juggles into Being a Commentary on Slumlords with S’mores
Ruthless Realtor Sells Us on a Weekend Getaway in Santa Clarita Where One Can Mount a Pregnancy Test at the Frame Store
BONUS: A Deep Dive on the 1989 Jackee TV Pilot
Keeping up with the Joneses: The Wrong Nemesis is not Theodore Rex, He’s Theodore NEXT with Meredith Thomas
Catherine Bell at a Casual Prison with No Boundaries Means She’ll become Jailbreak Lovers with a Guy that Plays the Ukelele
Caribbean Summer Should Not Be Watched or Recapped Whilst Driving a Car in a Thunderstorm
Killer Grades Are Given for Aging Out of Being a Twink (like Menudo)
BONUS: Interview with the PornHub Math Teacher
Pretty Little Dead Girl Has Low Blood Sugar and Lots of Lingerie but No Black Hoodie
Love, Classified has Pansexuals, Heavy Drinking, and Even Feet Stuff
Fatal Fandom has Twinks, Tacos, Crickets, and Death by Bandana
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