Stinker Madness - The Podcast for Bad Movie Lovers
TV & Film:Film Reviews
Two former Knights Templars (however the plural of that works) roam "The Far East" in a vague period of time bust up a usurpation of the kingdom by moping, doing opium, terrible battle plans and becoming Caribbean pirates. Tempyarr!!!
What you want to come here for is the bad acting and the incredibly stupid character decisions. As one could predict, Hayden Christensen is not good. Surprisingly, he's far from the worst. Unsurprisingly, that award goes to Nic Coppola. Look, here's on set for about 3 days. At some point, he went into his trailer for 30 minutes, came back out and then told the director that his character should transition into a voodoo pirate. Well even if one could agree to those terms, Nicolas couldn't because his Yarrr! pirate fades in and out even within the same set of dialogue. Outcast has to rank as one of the worst Cage has even given us and the number one reason to show up to watch this film.
Secondly - why the hell is everyone so stupid? From important characters blowing themselves up, villains challenging strangers to honor duels, giving your enemies a smoke screen, and saying "I didn't see those guards" after getting captured by them when your one job was to look out for guards. Its befuddling how many actions by characters are made in complete and utter moronisy.
Sadly, upon rewatching, Outcast doesn't hold up to the first viewing. For us it was a surprise stinker the first time we saw it and so we made it a little darling. It's pretty tedious and pouty on the front-end and when you finally get to the goods, you're already 3/4 through the movie. So if you've already seen it, Outcast is a one and done watch. If you haven't then give it a go, but don't expect too much fireworks until Pirate Cage makes his return.
Elf-Man - Better than socks, I guess
Highlander - Listen first before sending death threats
Dirty O’Neil - It’s not his police work that’s dirty - it’s his d---
Bloodfist III - Forced to Watch
Rockula - Maybe don’t turn into a bat, Ralphie
Blood Hook - Sinker Madness
Curse 3: Blood Sacrifice - You’re not Pangaing your way out of this one
Vamps - Undead dating can be such a bummer
Repo Jake - Gonna repo that prophylactic
Sword of the Valiant - Yeah, but why though?
High Spirits - Gave us mild nausea
Gas Pump Girls - Better go to college, kids
Extraterrestrial Visitors - The Trumpyiest Show, but in a good way
The Rookie - Its a Buttendectomy
The Tomb - The Mummy moves to LA for its high quality blood?
Strike Commando 2 - The Gullible Plot
Anaconda - Serone lives!
Deep Rising - didn’t create any deep pockets
Strike Commando - Cut it out!
Secret Agent Club - NatSec doesn’t look good, President Clinton.
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