Les, Kurt, and Jason return after a very very long break and so so so many Gay Prides! Yes, prides have parades, and Les sat through part of a really long one before being coerced into marching IN one, but Jason will only watch the parades if they’re done at the posted speed limit (flying drag queen wigs be damned)! Then, Kurt has some Blac Chyna news (that may or may not be from before our long break). Then, the guys take a dip in Hallmark’s Big Sky River which is, apparently, a movie they all watched. Despite the over-priced gas in this small town, it still has what it takes to attract residents like (not) Reba McIntyre, and a woman going through an (oft-mentioned) “terrible divorce.” This movie has an extended scene involving grabbing a chicken. It also has a friend hint that one of the characters should have a fling. Get your air horn, cuz this ain’t your mom’s Hallmark.
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Theme song generously donated by purple-planet.com
Cheer Camp Killer Needs to Hire a Shirtless Kinesiologist Who is Steeped in Mediocrity
Falling for Look Lodge Just Makes Us Realize that All Hallmark Movies are Basically Baby Boom without Diane Keaton’s Giant Hats
Deranged Granny Bakes an Apple Pie Full of Poison and Cable Ace Awards
Love in the Forecast Benjamin Button-s Through A Once-Promising Career Towards a Mediocre Internship
Wedding Every Weekend Has Lesbians! Interracial Couples! No Dead Parents! Bears! Mr. Belvedere!
The Twisted Nanny Knows a Spoonful of Sugar Makes The Murderin' Go Down
Check Inn to Christmas with Candace Cameron Bure and Hallmark's (maybe) first LGBTQ+ Couple
The Wrong Wedding Planner Blows an Angel's Trumpet Into Vivica A. Fox, Jackee Harry, and Pauly Shore's Mutilated Cake
Check Inn to Christmas to Take the Polar Express Train to a Penis Shaped Inn with Al from Home Improvement
The Wrong Mommy and Sisqo Once Did a TV Pilot with Bob Newhart, but not Tracy Nelson
You'll Swipe Left On Hallmark's Matching Hearts Because Jackee Isn't In it And Neither is Happy The Dog
Watching The Wrong Neighbor a Second Time is Like Watching Michael Madsen's Performance Post-Lunch
The Psycho Yoga Instructor Will Murder You After Savasana and a Smoothie with Ronnie, Bobby, Ricky, Mike, Larry, Daryl, and Daryl
The Wrong Cheerleader Doesn’t Know How To Cheer, but DOES Know How To Snag a Shirtless 30 Year Old from Shank Manor
In the Key of Love Unlocks An Adam Sandler Rabbit Hole to Scatman Crothers' Cookies
Parker Lewis Wants to Marry The Wrong Stepmother Even Though She Isn't Vivica A. Fox or Tracy Nelson
The Killer Prom Queen is a Moira Rose Impression Taking Advantage of Rent Control
It's Wedding Bells for Danica McKellar, but all Bruce Boxleitner Got Was This Ponzi Scheme Greeting Card from Hallmark
My Nightmare Landlord, My BFF Young Peter Frampton, and my Ex BF Young Crispin Glover
Fashionably Yours Gives You Lauren's Cookies and Some Marie Kondo Realness
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