Chapter 9: Foolish Maple Boy

This week, we delve into a topic all Canadians are familiar with: Maple Syrup! 

The Blossom family gathers to perform their ridiculously archaic traditions even though Jason is gone. If only they could find some sort of surrogate...someone who can be easily swayed...someone who's hair is as red as his head is empty...Sure hope that doesn't lead to anything deeply uncomfortable!
Robo-Veronica reaches out to budding poet and resident sympathy-magnet, Ethel, who's having a tough time, and yes, has not appeared in a full 6 episodes. We won't be addressing that. What we will be addressing is Cheryl's fantastic wardrobe, perhaps the most cursed line in the show to date, a truly insulting job offer, and our adoration of one Valerie Brown. The writers clearly do not share our love...but at least she gets some killer dunks in on Archie before they write her off completely.

Meanwhile, in a decidedly more manic state than last week, the tangents are many, and the expectations are few. Miranda rides the rollercoaster of emotions from catatonic disgust, to vindictive ecstasy, and Evelyn Will Not put the cat toy down.
Also, we talk about our respective French educations for a while, and then never bring it up again...Hey, just like Riverdale!

 

Content Warnings:

- Abortion

- Alcoholism

- Emotional abuse/manipulation

- Incest

- Suicide

 

Music: 'Imps' by Mark Revell