GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra is a somewhat successful live-action adaptation of the beloved GI Joe cartoon and toy line. It's a big, loud, dumb, and, at times, very fun action film.
Most of the adjectives above will come as no surprise for fans of Stephen Sommers–he of The Mummy and The Mummy Returns fame.
The DNA of what made those films such enjoyable adventure romps is here. Unfortunately, so is his penchant to go too far over the top. *Cough* Van Helsing.
What Sommers gets wrong in this, he basically butchers. Eschewing common series lore in favor Hollywood tropes, GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra loses some of the magic from the property, turning off longtime fans and general audiences in the process.
Despite there being internet murmurs that this movie, and Sommers' career prospects, deserved better, this one underperformed at the time of its release. It grossed just $302.5 million on a budget of $175. Critics also sent it the Slaughter House. It sits at 33% on Rotten Tomatoes with 169 reviews.
But, hey, there is a good time to be had here, as long as you don't think too hard about it.
So, sit back, get your nano-mites buzzing with a Weird Science Pale Ale from Paperback Brewing Co., and call us Commander! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Bling Blake, and Chumpzilla are training in the Pit to take down Cobra's goons!
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Home Sweet Home Alone – Make It Stop
Terminator Genisys – Rotten Member Berries
The Rocketeer – The Antifa Adventurer that isn’t Dr. Jones
Snake Eyes – Crapped Out
The Lone Ranger – Wendigo Hammer
Dune – Spice Up Your Life
Club Dread – Naughty Cal
They Live – All Out of Bubblegum
Event Horizon – Brain Dead Space
Tin Cup – Bland Trap
Ed – Monkey Trouble
Side Out – Sponsored by MetLife
The Program – Place at the Table
Last Man Standing – No, Not the Tim Allen Show
Hudson Hawk – Scat Burglar
Cop Out – Bruce is Too Old for This S**t
The Suicide Squad – Passion Fruit Starfish
A Good Day to Die Hard – Davai Hard
F9: The Fast Saga – Space Cars
Legend – Glitter and Bubbles
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