As parents, our natural instinct is to defend our children, to fight their battles for them, to protect them at all costs. But is this natural instinct the most helpful for your child. The answer is, not necessarily so. Your response to your child's problems depends on the kind of battle and the age/stage of your child. However, as with any situation where you see his emotional fever spike, start with active listening, to bring the fever down. Then ask permission to give your thoughts about his conflict. Where some response from him is indicated, collaborate with him about what shape that response will take. Your overall message to him is, I love you. I'm so sorry you are going through a hard time. I have confidence in your being able to make sense of all of this and to work it out. I've got your back. Therein lies a teachable moment
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