Les, Kurt, and Jason are doing something they haven’t done for months: watched a Hallmark movie for their podcast about Hallmark movies (and Lifetime movies, and now so much more). It’s especially fitting to dive back into that world with a movie starring Hallmark royalty (pun intended) Lacey Chabert as she reunites with her Party of Five big brother Scott Wolf. But first, Kurt and Jason wonder if Les himself is secretly a royal, Jason sent Kurt a filthy underwear ad to underscore last episode’s very descriptive conversation about what makes one… um… powerful. Then, Kurt reports on Blac Chyna’s beef with Brian Austin Green, sufferer of vertigo, and Les gets to casually and unironically use the phrase “my in-laws’ yurt.” Then, it’s time to talk about Hallmark’s A Very Scottish Christmas. Producer and star Lacey Chabert was adamant (as were we) that she and Scott Wolf were NOT to be romantic interests in this movie. Instead, we get siblings who are blindsided by the fact that their mother has been lying to them their entire lives when they find out that they are royalty. This castle comes complete with a hot but property manager who is clingy AF, enough sweets to give a giant middle finger to diabetics, and a Scottish tour guide that may or may not be REALLY energetic because of the amount of snow. Go pick your handkerchief color of choice as you have yourself a dirty reindeer!
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Theme song generously donated by purple-planet.com
Cheer Camp Killer Needs to Hire a Shirtless Kinesiologist Who is Steeped in Mediocrity
Falling for Look Lodge Just Makes Us Realize that All Hallmark Movies are Basically Baby Boom without Diane Keaton’s Giant Hats
Deranged Granny Bakes an Apple Pie Full of Poison and Cable Ace Awards
Love in the Forecast Benjamin Button-s Through A Once-Promising Career Towards a Mediocre Internship
Wedding Every Weekend Has Lesbians! Interracial Couples! No Dead Parents! Bears! Mr. Belvedere!
The Twisted Nanny Knows a Spoonful of Sugar Makes The Murderin' Go Down
Check Inn to Christmas with Candace Cameron Bure and Hallmark's (maybe) first LGBTQ+ Couple
The Wrong Wedding Planner Blows an Angel's Trumpet Into Vivica A. Fox, Jackee Harry, and Pauly Shore's Mutilated Cake
Check Inn to Christmas to Take the Polar Express Train to a Penis Shaped Inn with Al from Home Improvement
The Wrong Mommy and Sisqo Once Did a TV Pilot with Bob Newhart, but not Tracy Nelson
You'll Swipe Left On Hallmark's Matching Hearts Because Jackee Isn't In it And Neither is Happy The Dog
Watching The Wrong Neighbor a Second Time is Like Watching Michael Madsen's Performance Post-Lunch
The Psycho Yoga Instructor Will Murder You After Savasana and a Smoothie with Ronnie, Bobby, Ricky, Mike, Larry, Daryl, and Daryl
The Wrong Cheerleader Doesn’t Know How To Cheer, but DOES Know How To Snag a Shirtless 30 Year Old from Shank Manor
In the Key of Love Unlocks An Adam Sandler Rabbit Hole to Scatman Crothers' Cookies
Parker Lewis Wants to Marry The Wrong Stepmother Even Though She Isn't Vivica A. Fox or Tracy Nelson
The Killer Prom Queen is a Moira Rose Impression Taking Advantage of Rent Control
It's Wedding Bells for Danica McKellar, but all Bruce Boxleitner Got Was This Ponzi Scheme Greeting Card from Hallmark
My Nightmare Landlord, My BFF Young Peter Frampton, and my Ex BF Young Crispin Glover
Fashionably Yours Gives You Lauren's Cookies and Some Marie Kondo Realness
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