Swings and roundabouts

Yesterday I went to my first session on my own. I’ve been to a few with my fan, but only to tag along with him and listen to other people play. We went to the Scandi session back in November when I had literally only had my pipes for about a week. We didn’t do much Scandi stuff, and I didn’t really play. There is a clear learning aspect to the Scandi session, so not knowing the tunes, and being new to an instrument (mostly nickelharpas) is fine. Use of dots (as I’ve learned to call sheet music) is not frowned upon. So far so good. I did play a small number of tunes. It was really exciting and uplifting. Me! Playing real tunes! With other people! Especially the bit that was me, playing a tune, with Vicki and Jonny!! I was really pleased that I was able to play along, and even to pick myself up and carry on where I fluffed bits. The downside is that even with Vicki sitting next to me I really struggled to hear her or anyone else over my pipes. I was also very aware that it’s not like sitting back with a fiddle and just touching the strings so that the sound is only audible to the player: everyone in the room heard loud and clear every single time I hit a wrong note, tripped over the timing or otherwise did something idiotic. I’m aware that I’m not good at picking up tunes as other people play them. Pipes simply don’t help with this because they drown up the person you’re supposed to be listening to. I was offered whistles and recorders, but although I’ve been playing both on and off since I was about six I’m very rusty and not ready to do so in front of others. Apart from a spell when I learned trumpet and was in a brass band I haven’t played with other people since I was at primary school learning the recorder, which we did in groups. So after the elation I had a bit of a slump. I only play one instrument, I don’t play it very well, I can’t pick up tunes just by listening to them, I rely too much on dots, I can’t play very fast…so much I can’t do. And then I thought what a fool I was to take pipes in A (for awkward) to a Scandi session, where A is not the order of the day. I could buy Swedish pipes, but I think I really need to learn to play smallpipes first. Swings and roundabouts, then. On the whole I think I’m pleased I went, if only because it made my fan so pleased, to think I am taking music seriously and branching out without him and forging my own musical identity. I wrote the above earlier in the day, and then I got my pipes out and...played Dusty Pipes with no dots!! Yes, there's a fluff in the middle (as naturally the one perfect run through was the one where I'd not hit record) but I'm really playing a whole tune without recourse to the music. Just like that, as they say. I had problems with pressure (too high), drones (too loud), connector popping out, bellows rubbing the crook of my elbow raw - but I played a tune with no dots. After my post-session come down I suddenly feel this might really happen - I might really become a piper.