It happens all too often. Kitchen accidents do occur yet most are. They needn’t occur even in hearty times. Feeling pesky, Marcello dropped by the kitchen last week intending to enjoy a rather robust afternoon of peeling blueberries for Mrs. Nombril’s birthday party. The fact that Mrs. Nombril has not been seen since 1965 is beside the point: Lenny wanted blueberry waffles for the wifely waffle woman.
Fast forward 12 minutes. Now rewind 2 minutes. Play for 38 seconds. Now, fast forward aga...
It happens all too often. Kitchen accidents do occur yet most are. They needn’t occur even in hearty times. Feeling pesky, Marcello dropped by the kitchen last week intending to enjoy a rather robust afternoon of peeling blueberries for Mrs. Nombril’s birthday party. The fact that Mrs. Nombril has not been seen since 1965 is beside the point: Lenny wanted blueberry waffles for the wifely waffle woman.
Fast forward 12 minutes. Now rewind 2 minutes. Play for 38 seconds. Now, fast forward again, this time for 23 minutes. There! Stop right there! Okay, so Marcello and Lenny decide they’re going to re-hinge an Oster 3883 instead of peeling blueberries. Now, I know what you are thinking as we’ve all been there before: What about the steeplof grommet located askew of the straussman retainer? A sticky wicket indeed and potentially dangerous in any post-1970 Oster when the gusset bromlin inside this classic waffle iron is wired for 4 amps (see Fig. 5).
With Marcello holding the Phillips head taut against the faidherbe chaligny (see Fig 6), and Lenny giving slack to the montgallet gear (Fig. 7), the clichy trap became stuck, causing a tension build-up underneath the right rungis retaining ring (Fig. 15). The enormous back pressure imploded outwardly, propelling the garche sarcelle (Fig. 9) towards Marcello’s clavicle. Fortunately for Mister Presac Lenny always keeps a favorite (favourite for our UK listeners) Proctor Silex R-102 right there on the syrup straining table in the event of a random late-night waffle gorging session. Marcello quite effortlessly grabbed the Proctor Silex, and, using it as a shield against the now-rocketing garche sarcelle (Fig, 12), managed to dodge the initial drops of steaming bobigny. Nevertheless, the projectile bounced off (bounced off for our UK listeners) the Teflon coating and tore into Marcello’s cheeky cheeky nosebleed bone like an octopus driving backwards through a drive-thru window at Jack-in-the Box. The photo tells it all.
Rest assured, the following morning (Fig. 10) found Lenny receiving a collect telephone call from Marcello’s legal team. Marcello reputedly teems with pain, bread, and nosepies.
Our newly-posted podcast will instruct you how to properly re-hinge the Oster 3883 belonging to Anthony Newly, so do make it a point to download and play this oozing audio. And while you listen (with headphones only), be aware that Marcello is in dire need of free gauze, ooze, and Moxie-stained maps of Potwin, Kansas. Contact Marcello’s nurse at whenwafflesmatter@gmail.com for inappropriate questions.
View more
