This episode called “No Girls Allowed” is an extension of Girl on Self crime we referred to in Episode 4, Own Worst Enemy, and the potential repercussions of what we do and say when communicating with others, especially men. To get an insider view on the topic, Joy invited friend, former colleague, and executive coach with Partner Exec., Nihar Chhaya, to return to help our listeners better understand the pitfalls and challenges women face when communicating with men and pragmatic strategies for addressing those challenges.
Nihar and Joy begin by reading a series of humorous quotes from an opinion piece from the Washington Post by Alexandra Petri called “Famous Quotes - the way a woman would have to say them in a meeting.” Listen in for some exaggerated examples of how women often communicate around men.
They go on to make key points on gender and communication, referencing several authors and speakers throughout the interview:
Amy Cuddy at Harvard discusses these two aspects - power, or strength and warmth as equally important to gain credibility in a recent HBR article, Connect, then Lead.
Claire Damken Brown and Audrey Nelson, authors of Code Switching: How to Talk so Men will Listen, explain that women often communicate with an inverted pyramid approach, i.e., first providing more details and then offering a shorter summary at the end, whereas men tend to communicate via a typical pyramid, with fewer details at the beginning.
Sylvia Hewlett is an economist, consultant, lecturer, and expert on gender and workplace issues. In her book, Forget a Mentor, Find a Sponsor: The New Way to Fast Track Your Career and in this video, Hewlett addresses three elements of executive presence: appearance, communication, and gravitas.
We leave the audience with 3 key points:
Know how you will motivate and inform your audience.
Identify someone you trust to provide you with feedback and let you know if you are falling victim to communication pitfalls addressed in the episode.
Silence your inner critic so that you can communicate in your own authentic way.
Executive coach, Nihar Chhaya can be found at: www.partnerexec.com
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