Logan Ury studied psychology at Harvard, was a TED Fellow, then became a behavioral scientist at Google, where she ran Google’s behavioral science team – which we now know as The Irrational Lab. She became a dating coach and is currently the Director of Relationship Science at the dating app Hinge, where she leads a research team dedicated to helping people find love. Her work has appeared in The New York Times and The Atlantic, among a variety of media outlets, including HBO and the BBC. And you should note that she’s a featured speaker at SXSW 2021.
Aside from those cool things, we wanted to talk to her because she is the author of How To Not Die Alone.
In our conversation with Logan, we talked about the challenges people face in getting prepared for dating, making the most of their dating experiences, and maintaining great relationships once they’ve landed in one. She shared her insights into how to overcome some of the common hurdles and to make the most out of each phase of the dating life.
We had an interesting discussion about why moving from ‘romanticizer’ or ‘maximizer’ to ‘satisficer’ can make a big difference in your relationships (and in life). We talked about the Monet Effect and how we need to work hard to overcome some of our biggest biases – like the fundamental attribution error and negativity bias.
She was also kind enough to share a little bit about her communal living conditions and her recommendation that we all need more significant others – OSO’s – in these turbulent times.
NOTE #1: The “F” word features prominently in our conversation since it’s in the title of one of her book’s chapters.
NOTE #2: Christina Gravert joined for our Grooving Session as our first-ever Grooving Partner, and you’ll hear her in the introduction, as well. We’re pleased that our good friend was named by Forbes magazine as one of the top behavioral scientists you ought to know. Christina teaches Economics at the University of Copenhagen, is a co-founder of Impactually, a behavioral consultancy, she has been a guest on Behavioral Grooves (episode 16 on creating a Nudge-A-Thon), and was a speaker at Nudge.It North 2021.
© 2021 Behavioral Grooves
Links
Logan Ury: https://www.loganury.com/
“How to Not Die Alone”: https://www.loganury.com/book
Ira Glass: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ira_Glass
Dan Ariely: https://danariely.com/
Esther Perel: https://www.estherperel.com/
John Gottman, The Gottman Institute: https://www.gottman.com/
Eli Finkel: https://elifinkel.com/
Daniel Gilbert: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daniel_Gilbert_(psychologist)
Jane Ebert: https://www.brandeis.edu/facultyguide/person.html?emplid=0fd6834b65b0eddec69f2ab77539fd341d63b270
Alain De Botton “School of Life”: https://www.theschooloflife.com/about-us/faculty/alain-de-botton/
Reiki: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reiki
“Algorithms to Live By”: https://algorithmstoliveby.com/
John Nash “A Beautiful Mind”: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Forbes_Nash_Jr.
Nicole Prause: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nicole_Prause
36 Questions That Lead to Love: https://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/09/style/no-37-big-wedding-or-small.html
The School of Life books: https://www.theschooloflife.com/shop/us/books/
Shelley Archambeau – Episode 204: https://behavioralgrooves.com/episode/how-shelley-archambeau-flies-like-an-eagle/
Christina Gravert – Episode 16: https://behavioralgrooves.com/episode/nudge-a-thon-with-dr-christina-gravert/
Christina Gravert, “Online Dating Like a Game Theorist”: https://behavioralscientist.org/online-dating-like-a-game-theorist/
Christina Gravert – Impactually: https://impactually.se/
“10 Behavioral Scientists You Should Know”: https://www.forbes.com/sites/alineholzwarth/2020/10/29/10-behavioral-scientists-you-should-know/?sh=36ad80b442e0
Musical Links
“Hamilton” soundtrack: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPSWZUExZ8M
Chance the Rapper “Coloring Book”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BeChAs-bI3A
Bush “Glycerine”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bvXbHN5Gijw
The Psychological Benefits of Using a Process to Achieve an Outcome | Joseph Keebler PhD & Peter Krask
Transport Your Thinking; Why We Need To Reframe Travel | Rory Sutherland & Pete Dyson
Why Not All Nudges Work ”In The Wild” | Nina Mazar & Dilip Soman
The Steps Needed To Empower the Powerless | Julie Battilana PhD
Why Talking To Strangers Is Actually Good For Your Wellbeing | Nick Epley
If You’re Wrong It’s Meaningless, But If I’m Wrong It’s Valuable | Peter Montoya
The Three Phases of Growth and Learning | Whitney Johnson
Mindset Matters Most: Top Tips from The Sales Evangelist, Donald C. Kelly
Is The A-nus Really The Key To All Intelligent Life? | Henry Gee
Why Applying Behavioral Science to Public Policy Delivers Better Policy | David Yokum PhD
Why Leaders Need To Care For People, Not Manage Them | Sesil Pir
Do We Judge Others By The Way They Speak? | Katherine Kinzler PhD
We Are Greater Together; The Power Of Belonging | Dominic Packer PhD
How Can Smart, Kind People Harness Their Influence? | Zoe Chance
No Regrets? Really? Why Regrets Actually Bring Us Hope | Daniel H. Pink
How To Stay Motivated So You Exceed Your Goals | Ayelet Fishbach PhD
A Long, Happy Life? The Impacts of Increasing Our Longevity | Bradley Schurman
Why Finding Pleasure in Life is a Painful Journey | Paul Bloom
How Collaboration is Growing Behavioral Science: Learnings from BX Arabia
How To Turn Your Creative Dreams Into Reality | Jeff Madoff
Create your
podcast in
minutes
It is Free
The Poetry of Science
Hidden Brain
The Science of Happiness
The Psychology Podcast
Therapist Uncensored Podcast