This week on the pod we spoke with the brilliant @mrmatthewtodd, a multi-award-winning writer, broadcaster and sometime performer who edited the UK’s best-selling gay magazine, Attitude, for eight years and is best known for his book ‘Straight Jacket: Overcoming Societies Legacy of Gay Shame’, published by Black Swan (part of Penguin Random House) in 2016. His second book ‘Pride: The Story of the LGBTQ Equality Movement’ was published by Welbeck Books (then Carlton publishing) in the UK and in France in 2019 and will be published by Weldon Owen in the USA in May 2020.
Both Lee (The Gay Sober) & Scott (Proud & Sober) alerted us to Matthew's work and the impact that Straight Jacket has had on their lives and unpicking their drinking stories as gay men and it is such an important conversation.
It was very illuminating and once again affirming that such a common thread in addiction, SUDs or other addictions is the experience of shame and 'othering' in our early lives and formative years. Matthew talked about gay shame and trauma and we too have talked about trauma and shame before, ACEs, poverty, neurodiversity - ADHD, autism, sensory processing, which all increases your likelihood of SUDs and other addictions. These are all key conversations about why people develop a problematic relationship with a substance - to numb the fear, anxiety and shame because for whatever our story we have told we are less than for being us. Then of course there is the trauma of racism - and the call to see and call bullshit and rise up against systemic racism and to come together to change and learn.
It's sitting heavy on us as we are processing once again, the othering that goes on from the heterosexual, white, male, neurotypical train tracks and systems and constructs we have lived within, felt unseen, othered, in pain and sought to ease that pain with addictions.
What we feel hope in is these conversations, knowing that we heal together collectively and that sobriety really is a gift for growth, change and acceptance.
We are so thankful for Matthew for taking the time to talk with us, if you are looking for his support group mentioned it is A Change of Scene on FB
Grab a cuppa and let's chat x
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Love Sober Podcast 54 Guest: Lara Frazier 08/11/19
Love Sober Podcast 53 Conversations 1/11/19
Love Sober Podcast 52 Creativity 25/10/19
Love Sober Podcast 51 Sobercurious 18/10/19
Love Sober Podcast 50 Guest:Scott Pearson 11/10/19
Love Sober Podcast 49 Self Care 01/10/19
Love Sober Podcast 48 Guest:Sharon Walters 26/09/19
Love Sober Podcast 47 Overwhelm 20/09/19
Love Sober Podcast 46 Guest:Clemmie Telford 13/09/19
Love Sober Podcast 45 Summer Holidays 06/09/2019
Love Sober Podcast 44 Planning 1/07/19
Love Sober Podcast 43 Boundaries 05/07/19
Love Sober Podcast 42 Coaching 27/06/19
Love Sober Podcast 41 Guest:Michael Maisey 14/06/19
Love Sober Podcast 40 Guest:Penni 06/06/2019
Love Sober Podcast 39 Guest:Wanda Canton 30/05/2019
Love Sober Podcast 38 Guest:Ruby Warrington 23/05/19
Love Sober Podcast 37 Guest: Sober Lioness 17/05/2019
Love Sober Podcast 36 Relapsing 09/05/2019
Love Sober Podcast 35 Guest:Soberstory 03/05/19
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