Muthafuckaaaaaaas! Emo-goddamn-muthafuckin’-clew to the Send Newds Edition of Monday Morning Aural Sex! What are newwwwds, you may ask? Well, I may ask if you’ve heard of a little doohickey called the internet. I may ask if you have a collection of golden nipples buried in Zimbabwe too, but not today… Newds are simply that: new (but with some Ds for the fuck of it)! Ah, go fuck yourself, I thought it was amusing. Pretty sure I’m not gonna come up with anything to top the Send Newds title, so until then, all my new ...
Muthafuckaaaaaaas! Emo-goddamn-muthafuckin’-clew to the Send Newds Edition of Monday Morning Aural Sex! What are newwwwds, you may ask? Well, I may ask if you’ve heard of a little doohickey called the internet. I may ask if you have a collection of golden nipples buried in Zimbabwe too, but not today… Newds are simply that: new (but with some Ds for the fuck of it)! Ah, go fuck yourself, I thought it was amusing. Pretty sure I’m not gonna come up with anything to top the Send Newds title, so until then, all my new shit editions will just be subsequent volumes from this first one.
So, what can be said about this particular crop of fucktacularity? Welllll…
1. The group, “Dragon Sound,” is from a movie called Miami Connection that’s free w/ ads on Prime right now. I… that movie… just watch it. It’s about a synthrock band called Dragon Sound who uses their masterful command of kung fu to dispatch a cadre of cocaine-trafficking ninjas, and boy do they go in on the dispatching around the end. Remember though, only through the elimination of violence can we achieve world peace. The movie is absolutely fucking bananas. It had me fuckin’ apoplectic, just utterly bewildered that every single line of dialogue is delivered as if the human beings chosen to deliver it have literally never spoken words to anyone until that movie was made. It’s hilariously terrible, and it really must be witnessed to be believed. Seeing isn’t even a strong enough word for it; you must witness it as one witnesses something heretofore unknown to mankind.
2. That Run The Jewels track has Zack de la Rocha formerly of Rage Against The Machine on it, so do NOT fuckin’ sleep on that one. Don’t know how ya fuckin’ could considering it’s less than 10 minutes into this shit. Pharrell Williams is on there too, but I’m indifferent to him and his shit for the most part, and Happy’s fuckin’ lame as fuck to me. Leaves me colder than it ever finds me.
3. The new Twiztid track called Corkscrew is quite an interesting departure, I think. I was delightfully surprised, and hopefully you will be too.
4. Berried Alive is an artist I randomly stumbled across on Instagram, and he’s fuckin’ rad. The shit he does with his guitar is so astounding and fascinating, but I also don’t play guitar, so my opinion might be underweight.
5. Both the Azealia Banks and LeAnn Rimes tracks are random finds from my massive Stepmania collection. Yup, I started doing that again. I’ve been slackin’ lately for a number of reasons, but I need to get back on that shit. Anyway, they might seem uncharacteristic of my tastes, and for the most part that’s true. I do enjoy the occasional poppy jam so long as there’s something notable about it. Most pop is a fuckin’ snore, in my opinion. Again, not hating on anyone who might enjoy it, it’s just not for me; more often than not, it leaves me wanting.
6. The Lucille Bogan track is one I found through a new Netflix series called the History of Swear Words. If ever you find yourself yearning to understand why the fuck I use the broad vocabulary I do, and yet still feel compelled to spice up my verbiage with so-called fuckin’ profanity, take a goddamn gander at that series. I do it ‘cause I’m fuckin’ passionate! Fault me and my tumescent prick all you like, I can fuck your opinion in my sleep. Anyway, the track is a bluesy jam about fuckin’ and suckin’, and all that lovely stuff that furthers humanity for better or worse. It’s definitely a good time, so pry your ears open wide for that.
7. Some Japanese metalcore bands made it to the list this week: Crossfaith, mildrage and Crystal Lake. I found two out of the three when I was looking for tracks for the last Punk-Hop edition I made, but they didn’t really fit at the time. Same goes for Molchat Doma actually, even though I’m probably butchering the pronunciation, and they’re not metalcore; they’re Belarusian post-punk or something. Also found out that the track of theirs I picked became popular through some silly TikTok challenge or something. Anyway, these tracks are just fine for this edition though, fuckin’ obviously. That is, if you can get down with Japanese metalcore and Belarusian post-punk. If ya can’t, well, feel free to a lick a big, floppy, elitist, Japanese-Belarusian donkey cock.
8. MitiS and Trivecta are artists I have yet to see live, and I’d love to do exactly that sometime before I shuffle off this fuckin’ mortal coil. So, do me a favor and fuckin’ wear a mask when you’re out and about, ‘cause I’m sick and fuckin’ tired of not being able to go to concerts. Fuck whether or not you believe any of the readily-available scientific data, I know we’re all sick to death of living like this.
9. Nope! No nine! The rest pretty much speaks for itself. If it doesn’t, and you’d like me to speak for it, feel free to ask (but ya won’t).
10. Fuck ten, and fuckin’ yojne!
01 Stonebank, EMEL - Take Me Away (from Take Me Away) [00:03:50]
02 Dragon Sound - Against the Ninja (from Miami Connection OST) [00:07:28]
03 Dwarves - Motherfucker (from Blood Guts & Pussy) [00:10:48]
04 Run The Jewels, What So Not - JU$T (feat. Pharrell Williams & Zack de la Rocha) (Remix) (from JU$T (feat. Pharrell Williams & Zack de la Rocha) (Remix)) [00:12:07]
05 VCTMS - Carefully // Caged (feat. Darius Tehrani) (from Carefully // Caged) [00:16:10]
06 Bob's Burgers, Jillian Bell, Wendy Molyneux, Lizzie Molyneux, Holly Schlesinger - Girl Power Jam (from Valentine’s Day) [00:19:57]
07 Sub Focus, Wilkinson - Freedom (feat. Empara Mi) (Sub Focus x Wilkinson x High Contrast Remix) (from Freedom (Sub Focus x Wilkinson x High Contrast Remix)) [00:20:52]
08 Twiztid - Corkscrew (from Corkscrew) [00:24:57]
09 Trivecta - Twilight Of The Gods (from Twilight Of The Gods) [00:27:28]
10 HE.KURILI, MUZ, MISHLEN - OLD (from OLD) [00:31:35]
11 Berried Alive - Blood Orange (from Blood Orange) [00:35:49]
12 Unity Lewis, Dead Prez - Origins (from Origins) [00:40:41]
13 H.1 - Circle (from 1 Am. Study Session) [00:44:22]
14 MitiS - Try (feat. RØRY) (from Try (feat. RØRY)) [00:46:14]
15 Dragon Sound - Friends (from Miami Connection OST) [00:50:22]
16 Erra - Scorpion Hymn (from Scorpion Hymn) [00:53:22]
17 Gabriel and the Apocalypse - pointTHREE (TIMELINES Remix) (from pointTHREE (TIMELINES Remix)) [00:56:56]
18 Crystal Lake - +81 (from Helix) [00:59:58]
19 Azealia Banks, Lazy Jay - 212 (from Broke with Expensive Taste) [01:03:14]
20 Apashe - Work (feat. Vo Williams) (SWARM Remix) (from Work (SWARM Remix)) [01:06:36]
21 Lucille Bogan - Till The Cows Come Home (from Shave ‘Em Dry: The Best Of Lucille Bogan) [01:10:37]
22 Rob IYF, Monster - In & Out (from Under The Covers 4) [01:13:29]
23 Barely Alive - Weeble Wobble VIP (from Head To Head Vol. 2) [01:18:40]
24 Crossfaith - Endorphin (from Endorphin) [01:21:29]
25 Berried Alive - Why Are You Still Alive (feat. Andrew Patterson) (from Soul Sucker) [01:24:44]
26 NAMBA69 - BLOOD SUCKING DOG (from CHANGES) [01:28:34]
27 Ho99o9, N8NOFACE - Flesh And Blood (from Blurr (Mixtape)) [01:31:05]
28 Ace Aura, Millennial Trash - Self-Sabotage (Chime x Trinergy Remix) (from Self-Sabotage (Chime x Trinergy Remix)) [01:32:40]
29 Fury Weekend - Signals (feat. Voicians) (from Signals (feat. Voicians)) [01:36:01]
30 Lamb of God - Ghost Shaped People (from Ghost Shaped People) [01:40:49]
31 Kayzo, Black Tiger Sex Machine, Point North - Lifeline (from Lifeline) [01:44:48]
32 Laura Pausini - Io sì (Seen) (Ita/Eng Version) (from Io sì (Seen) [From "The Life Ahead (La vita davanti a sé)”]) [01:48:51]
33 Mark Breeze, Macks Wolf - Turn On The Light (feat. Heidi Anne) (JTS Remix) (from Turn On The Light (JTS Remix)) [01:52:35]
34 Twiztid - Come Alive (feat. Kid Bookie & Young Wicked) (from Revelashen) [01:55:39]
35 Omnia - Eternity (Extended Mix) (from Eternity) [02:00:30]
36 keshi - blue (Jai Wolf Remix) (from blue (Jai Wolf Remix)) [02:04:55]
37 mildrage - Silent spear (from ROM) [02:08:13]
38 Azealia Banks, Slim Dollars - Six Flags (from Six Flags) [02:12:06]
39 Crossfaith - None of Your Business (feat. Jin Dogg) (from SPECIES) [02:15:18]
40 Молчат Дома - Судно (Борис Рыжий) (from Этажи) [02:19:09]
41 Droptek - Illusions (feat. Holly Drummond) (from Symbiosis LP) [02:21:29]
42 NOFX - Fuck Euphemism (from Fuck Euphemism) [02:26:06]
43 Mega Ran, Fabvi - Absolute (from Black Materia: The Remake) [02:28:14]
44 Dirty Rig - Two (from Blood, Sweat And Beer…) [02:30:49]
45 Rabbit Junk - Bits and Razors (from Bits and Razors) [02:33:17]
46 Helisir - Nordlys (from A Dream from Home (One Take)) [02:37:16]
47 The Algorithm - dynamic recompilation (DEADLIFE Remix) (from dynamic recompilation (DEADLIFE Remix)) [02:38:48]
48 Dahlia - Live In Light (from Emotion Cycles) [02:43:21]
49 S3RL - Won't Let You Go (feat. Chichi) (from Won’t Let You Go) [02:47:48]
50 Seven Lions - Worlds Apart (feat. Kerli) (Seven Lions 1999 Extended Mix) (from Worlds Apart (Seven Lions 1999 Remix)) [02:50:54]
51 Nelver - Consequence (from Consequence) [02:57:24]
52 Will Sparks - Next Generation (Gareth Emery Remix) (from Next Generation (Gareth Emery Remix)) [03:02:39]
53 Sia, David Guetta - Floating Through Space (from Floating Through Space) [03:06:25]
54 j'san, Epektase - outer space (from outer space) [03:09:19]
55 LeAnn Rimes - Life Goes On (MASH Radio Edit) (from Life Goes On (Remixes)) [03:11:50]
