Plans and blueprints give us a sense of certainty, but it’s in the fog of relationships we need something more. Signposts offer us a direction, a relationship of trust, an ancient path.
I wanted him to tell me what to do. Give me advice, a plan, a blueprint, a map back to where I once was. I needed help, and I felt utterly lost.
‘I can’t give you a map, but I can give you some foggy signposts’
We all want maps, and plans don’t we. Codes and blueprints that if we follow, we will succeed. For most of life, this is how it works.
Yesterday I had a drive belt on a machine break. I pulled out the belt, went and got a replacement then put the new belt on. The machine is back working, and it felt good. I moved into the chaos and solved the problem.
I will have other problems of chaos again today. I will dig into my brains toolbox, reach for a plan, and solve the problem.
But there are areas of my life, and yours, where there are no clear plans or blueprints. We search for a map and a code but come up short.
The relationships we have with others are probably the most significant area of stress we have. How many times do a few words spoken sink us into depression, push our anxiety buttons, or fire up the coals of our anger?
So we write internal policy manuals. ‘If they do this, then I’ll do that.’ Rule books, manuals, maps, and plans all constrain the traveling relationship to mere functionality.
A foggy signpostA few years ago, my wife and I walked the Camino de Santiago in Spain. This pilgrimage journey is one that millions of people have taken, but there is no map. Well, there is actually, or there could be if you wanted to find one, but instead, there are road markers with arrows.
As you walk along the well-worn path, you will come across small stone markers with an arrow and the information of how far it is to go.
If you look at the top of the signpost, you will see a blue panel with yellow lines, all pointing to one spot. The Camino has a scallop shell as a symbol of direction. All the radial points line up to one endpoint: many paths, one destination.
You will find ancient signposts on the Camino being nothing but a scallop shell chiseled into stone.
Mental Health is knowing when the map needs to be put down, and a wholehearted seeking of ancient foggy signposts needs to be embraced.CLICK TO TWEET
The Ancient PathsThe Camino de Santiago is an ancient path, but there are even more ancient paths that people like you and I have walked.
Whatever you are going through in your relationships, thousands of others have been through it before.
Jeremiah, born 650 years before Christ, knew of the ancient paths. They were old even then.
Stand at the crossroads, and look,
and ask for the ancient paths,
where the good way lies; and walk in it,
and find rest for your souls.
Jeremiah 6:16
Have you ever wept? Jeremiah is known as the weeping prophet. No superhero status here, but he was one that sought out the foggy signposts on the ancient paths.
Developing intimate trustIt was when they said, ‘I believe in you’ and ‘I’m going to walk with you through this’ that I knew that I had found someone under a foggy signpost.
They had been there done that. They had the scars to prove they had been through the battle I was going through, and so they could be trusted.
No trite answers were given, no formulas or maps laid out. It was a sense of presence that invited me to know that I was safe and welcomed. It was intimacy – in-to-me-see.
When we grow in relationship with others who have found and want to share their foggy signposts, we form a community of fellow pilgrims. Honest and ‘dirt between the toes’ wanderers.
A trust grows not in a plan but a presence that it’s going to be ok. You’re not alone. You have fellow travelers who have found the signpost you are looking for.
You begin to drop the plans, blueprints, codes, and loyalty programs. Confidence fills your heart, and you take that one more step into the fog.
The well of Jeremiah’s tears is known to you, and you’re able to provide a sense of presence to fellow Jeremiahs.
Quotes to considerBarry Pearman
Image cc: Dipan Kumar Rout
Before you Start the Year, you Need to Stop
And Joseph had a Dream
What Do You Fear the Most?
Three Ways God Answers Prayer
A Diet of Sighs and Groans
The Call to Endure
To Keep No Record of Wrongs
Why Was I Even Born?
I curse the day I was born
Living in the shadow
Every Saint Has a Past Every Sinner Has a Future
To be Fed by a Diet of Words
The Tangible and Tactile way to better Mental Health
God, I need a Miracle
Can you Take in the Good and Let it Nourish?
Two Things Needed after a Mental Health Breakdown
Blessed are the Peacemakers … with Themselves
The Soliloquy of Words you Meditate on Day and Night
Sitting with Sadness
The ABT Framework for Listening Well
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