Baywatch is a bad movie. Sorry, Rock, but it's true. And it's frankly one of the worst movies based on a TV show. To be fair, that's a crowded field. Many of them are awful. This just sort of treads water among the filth.
That's due in large part to the fact that it is rarely funny. It wants so desperately to be 21 Jump Street. That approach makes sense. Jump Street was able to capitalize on its premise, while also satirizing its absurdity.
Baywatch—despite the wealth to be mined from the show's preposterousness—can't seem to muster the energy to maintain a 15-minute sketch about lifeguards going far beyond their actual job duties.
It's a shame. Baywatch is well cast. The Rock (Mitch Buchannon whose mentor is Mitch Buchannon?) and Zac Efron (Matt Brody) have decent chemistry. They're just not given much to work with. Written by a hodgepodge of people, the film's issues can all be attributed to its mishmash of a script.
Thus, like a bloated body washed up on the sands of Emerald Bay, Baywatch was dead on arrival. It earned $177.9 million on a budget of $69 million—with only $58 million of that coming domestically. It was also lashed by critics, sitting at 17% on Rotten Tomatoes with 246 reviews.
But, hey, a day at the beach always goes better with a beer. So sit back, bask in the sun with an ice cold Florida Man Double IPA from Cigar City Brewing, and watch out for sand grifters! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Capt. Cash, and Chumpzilla are staying ready. Forever and always!
This Week’s Segments:
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You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, and Amazon Music!
Wayne's World 2 – We're Putting on a Podcast ... Oh Yes
Stuart Saves His Family – In Need of an Intervention
MacGruber – Pound Some...
Blues Brothers 2000 – We're on a Mission from Pod
New Year's Eve – F**k Bon Jovi
It's a Wonderful Life – Hee Haw!
Santa's Slay – Grandpa Got Run Over by a Hell Deer
The Nutcracker and the Four Realms – Fresh Out of Fairy Dust
Tango & Cash – Armed and Definitely Dangerous
Bullet to the Head – Brawn, Booze, and Bullets
Judge Dredd – We are the Law
Stop! Or My Mom will Shoot – Literally, Please Stop
Over the Top – It's Like a Switch
The Stephen King Roundtable
The Mist – Took John Lee!
Doctor Sleep – Shine On
Dreamcatcher – A Bad Case of Alien Hemorrhoids
Wes Craven's New Nightmare – The Master Returns
Dukes of Hazzard – A Class-E Felony
Idiocracy – We've Got What Listeners Crave
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