Les, Kurt, and Jason are not shading Princess Kate for having $15 cake at an airport, obviously. But they are doing a deep dive into Blac Chyna’s latest loan against her home, and think she could make some real coin by doing ads for Metamucil. Then it’s time to root for Lifetime’s Killer Cheer Mom starring Denise Richards and Thomas Calabro from Melrose Place. Kurt gets a crash course in Michael’s trajectory on Melrose Place and learns (for the first time) about Kimberly and her infamous wig/scar reveal). But that’s not the only trip down memory lane: the kitchen in this movie may be the same one from the fireball scene in Killer Contractor, and the teenagers in this movie may be super into Billy Joel’s back catalog. This kitchen is epic in the way that it can still crank out giant carby meal after giant carbs meal, but that strawberry never stood a chance of making it into those epic smoothies. But there’s home for Kurt’s eventual epic tramp stamp tattoo of giant wings… carrying a cake. This needs to happen now.
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Theme song generously donated by purple-planet.com
BONUS EPISODE: Christina DeRosa from Drowning in Secrets Is NOT Alyssa Milano but IS Helping Female Directors, Writers, and Producers
A Little Daytime Drama Can Happen When You’re Not Actually Hiking to the Hollywood Sign
Drowning in Secrets Star Laura Poe is Grilled about Empty Cups, Search Party Food Platters, and Shetland Ponies
If Walls Could Talk They’d Tell Meghan Markle Jr. About Amityville in Space
Allison Sweeney, Lacey Chabert, and Autumn Reeser Assemble Again for The Wedding Veil Legacy, This Time It’s Personal
The Wedding Veil Unveiled Autumn Reeser, Lacey Chabert, Allison Sweeney, and Hallmark’s Most Scandalous Plot Point Ever
Single Black Female Brings Wind Chimes and a Head in a Bag to Crazy Girls
Pyscho Storm Chaser Is Responsible for the Castaways on Gilligan’s Island Because Employment Law Allows for Murdering During Your Break
Lacey Chabert, Allison Sweeney, and Autumn Reeser Pull back The Wedding Veil to Reveal The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants without the Pants
The Wrong Blind Date with Special Guest Meredith Thomas is Lifetime’s Lady in Waiting to Queen Vivica A. Fox
Days of Our Lives: A Very Salem Christmas with Daytime Confidential’s Jillian Bowe, plus Jackee Harry and Heteropaternal Superfecundation
REPOST: Betty White and Jennifer Love Hewitt find The Lost Valentine Who Is Not Gil Gerard
Sister Swap: Christmas in the City is Like the Other Sister Swap Movie, but with Gay People Too
There are NO Twins or Body Switches in Sister Swap: A Hometown Holiday, but There IS a Crying Room
An Ice Wine Christmas Toasts the On Call Volunteer Grape Pickers Who Believe in Science and Sex
BONUS: My (Unauthorized) Hallmark Movie Musical
Grab your Disappearing Ticket and All of the Meth to Board the Train: Next Stop, Christmas with Christopher Lloyd and Lea Thompson
Psycho Intern Wants Applause from Andy Richter, Vivica Fox Jr., Tammy Faye Baker, Gérard Depardieu, and the Dad of the Kid from Room
South Beach Love has 2 Quinceañeras Added Up By A Guy Doing Math on Adult Website
Love Strikes Twice for Rick Rubin Time Traveling In the Best Hallmark Movie Ever
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