Les, Kurt, and Jason are not shading Princess Kate for having $15 cake at an airport, obviously. But they are doing a deep dive into Blac Chyna’s latest loan against her home, and think she could make some real coin by doing ads for Metamucil. Then it’s time to root for Lifetime’s Killer Cheer Mom starring Denise Richards and Thomas Calabro from Melrose Place. Kurt gets a crash course in Michael’s trajectory on Melrose Place and learns (for the first time) about Kimberly and her infamous wig/scar reveal). But that’s not the only trip down memory lane: the kitchen in this movie may be the same one from the fireball scene in Killer Contractor, and the teenagers in this movie may be super into Billy Joel’s back catalog. This kitchen is epic in the way that it can still crank out giant carby meal after giant carbs meal, but that strawberry never stood a chance of making it into those epic smoothies. But there’s home for Kurt’s eventual epic tramp stamp tattoo of giant wings… carrying a cake. This needs to happen now.
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Theme song generously donated by purple-planet.com
Cheer Camp Killer Needs to Hire a Shirtless Kinesiologist Who is Steeped in Mediocrity
Falling for Look Lodge Just Makes Us Realize that All Hallmark Movies are Basically Baby Boom without Diane Keaton’s Giant Hats
Deranged Granny Bakes an Apple Pie Full of Poison and Cable Ace Awards
Love in the Forecast Benjamin Button-s Through A Once-Promising Career Towards a Mediocre Internship
Wedding Every Weekend Has Lesbians! Interracial Couples! No Dead Parents! Bears! Mr. Belvedere!
The Twisted Nanny Knows a Spoonful of Sugar Makes The Murderin' Go Down
Check Inn to Christmas with Candace Cameron Bure and Hallmark's (maybe) first LGBTQ+ Couple
The Wrong Wedding Planner Blows an Angel's Trumpet Into Vivica A. Fox, Jackee Harry, and Pauly Shore's Mutilated Cake
Check Inn to Christmas to Take the Polar Express Train to a Penis Shaped Inn with Al from Home Improvement
The Wrong Mommy and Sisqo Once Did a TV Pilot with Bob Newhart, but not Tracy Nelson
You'll Swipe Left On Hallmark's Matching Hearts Because Jackee Isn't In it And Neither is Happy The Dog
Watching The Wrong Neighbor a Second Time is Like Watching Michael Madsen's Performance Post-Lunch
The Psycho Yoga Instructor Will Murder You After Savasana and a Smoothie with Ronnie, Bobby, Ricky, Mike, Larry, Daryl, and Daryl
The Wrong Cheerleader Doesn’t Know How To Cheer, but DOES Know How To Snag a Shirtless 30 Year Old from Shank Manor
In the Key of Love Unlocks An Adam Sandler Rabbit Hole to Scatman Crothers' Cookies
Parker Lewis Wants to Marry The Wrong Stepmother Even Though She Isn't Vivica A. Fox or Tracy Nelson
The Killer Prom Queen is a Moira Rose Impression Taking Advantage of Rent Control
It's Wedding Bells for Danica McKellar, but all Bruce Boxleitner Got Was This Ponzi Scheme Greeting Card from Hallmark
My Nightmare Landlord, My BFF Young Peter Frampton, and my Ex BF Young Crispin Glover
Fashionably Yours Gives You Lauren's Cookies and Some Marie Kondo Realness
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