Stinker Madness - The Podcast for Bad Movie Lovers
TV & Film:Film Reviews
It ain't Blade. It's 90s Anne Rice with unattractive people and inept opponents. And it all could have been avoided by drinking tea together.
At least everyone is evenly matched. Don's Jack Cutter is way ill equipped and ill prepared to be taking down even lower level vampires. Guns don't work, bud. A sword seriously would have been cheaper and more effective than his shotgun and M1911s. Or a hammer. Use a damn hammer! Why a hammer against vampires? Because the vampires have spines that are made of glass. Well big deal right? Nope that's the only way you can kill them. By breaking their incredibly fragile spine. Huh...
And so the idiot plot begins. This entire movie is about vampires fight vampire hunters - all because the vampire hunters want to kill them. Why do the vampire hunters want to kill them? Because the vampires want to kill them. Not because they are abominations. Not because they are eating people. Not because their tired of their goth attire. Nope. Its just a blood feud. So all this could have been avoided if they'd just walked away and the vampires could have used their immortality to benefit the world via medicine, music and exploration, By blood feuding, the vampire hunters are denying the planet a utopian future.
Look, it's not great. It's got the feeling and tone of a million other 90s DTV movies (usually staring Jeff Fahey or James Remar) and drags here and there. But the idiot plot, the horrible casting, the stupid karate and the LOL ending all put this in the DO column.
Highlander: The Final Dimension - The Nonsense Returns
Year 9 in Review
The Rage - Good thing anti-American militias have such terrible plans
Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama - Not as slimey as lead to believed
Rollerball - Could be the worst movie of all time
Roadhouse (2024) - Dalton should've packed more shirts
Riding the Bus with my Sister - Wait, isn't this just a Hallmark movie?
Tiptoes - Nobody puts Oldman in the sofa, baby
Blown Away - Bombs, sure, but not they way they wanted
Ishtar - Ishnotsobad?
Lisa Frankenstein - It's pronounced LEE-SAW!
Night Teeth - Ugh, valley girl vampires are so passe.
Action USA - All Action, All the Time
New York Ninja - Powdered Egg Vengeance
Annabelle - I am NecraZul, Lord Demon of the LA Rams and Tea Parties
Highlander II - Immortal Space Laser Conspiracy Theory
Double Trouble - It takes two, baby
Detective Knight: Redemption - Go how you wanna go, Bruce
The Christmas Consultant - Don’t Hassel Your Christmas Man
Elf-Man - Better than socks, I guess
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