Stinker Madness - The Podcast for Bad Movie Lovers
TV & Film:Film Reviews
It ain't Blade. It's 90s Anne Rice with unattractive people and inept opponents. And it all could have been avoided by drinking tea together.
At least everyone is evenly matched. Don's Jack Cutter is way ill equipped and ill prepared to be taking down even lower level vampires. Guns don't work, bud. A sword seriously would have been cheaper and more effective than his shotgun and M1911s. Or a hammer. Use a damn hammer! Why a hammer against vampires? Because the vampires have spines that are made of glass. Well big deal right? Nope that's the only way you can kill them. By breaking their incredibly fragile spine. Huh...
And so the idiot plot begins. This entire movie is about vampires fight vampire hunters - all because the vampire hunters want to kill them. Why do the vampire hunters want to kill them? Because the vampires want to kill them. Not because they are abominations. Not because they are eating people. Not because their tired of their goth attire. Nope. Its just a blood feud. So all this could have been avoided if they'd just walked away and the vampires could have used their immortality to benefit the world via medicine, music and exploration, By blood feuding, the vampire hunters are denying the planet a utopian future.
Look, it's not great. It's got the feeling and tone of a million other 90s DTV movies (usually staring Jeff Fahey or James Remar) and drags here and there. But the idiot plot, the horrible casting, the stupid karate and the LOL ending all put this in the DO column.
Highlander - Listen first before sending death threats
Dirty O’Neil - It’s not his police work that’s dirty - it’s his d---
Bloodfist III - Forced to Watch
Rockula - Maybe don’t turn into a bat, Ralphie
Blood Hook - Sinker Madness
Curse 3: Blood Sacrifice - You’re not Pangaing your way out of this one
Vamps - Undead dating can be such a bummer
Repo Jake - Gonna repo that prophylactic
Sword of the Valiant - Yeah, but why though?
High Spirits - Gave us mild nausea
Gas Pump Girls - Better go to college, kids
Extraterrestrial Visitors - The Trumpyiest Show, but in a good way
The Rookie - Its a Buttendectomy
The Tomb - The Mummy moves to LA for its high quality blood?
Strike Commando 2 - The Gullible Plot
Anaconda - Serone lives!
Deep Rising - didn’t create any deep pockets
Strike Commando - Cut it out!
Secret Agent Club - NatSec doesn’t look good, President Clinton.
The Phantom Empire - A 9 year old’s fever dream
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