Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever is bad. Like truly awful. Its plot is convoluted; its action is often nonsensical and unimaginative; and it does little to capitalize on its star power. Antonio Banderas literally has nothing to do. This guy was El Mariachi in Desperado, for Pete's sake. Let him do more than smoke cigarettes and drink.
Anyway, there is a boat load of slow motion, if you're into that. Most of it is wholly unnecessary, but it's there; and it probably adds 10 minutes to the runtime—a portion of your life you will never get back.
There's also a lot of sulking and staring. There's an abundance of Ray Park in a turtleneck. Yep, Darth Maul loves sweaters, but he doesn't love fighting because he only does it once. Like the rest of the movie, that scene sucks.
If you are noticing a trend, you should. We hated this movie. Critics also hated it. And audiences thoroughly despised it. It is one of our most egregious flops to date, earning barely above $20 million on a budget of $70 million.
You have been forewarned. So, sit back, slug a few H.A.Z.Y. IPAs from Sweetwater Brewing Co., and throw on your best "Tactleneck"! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Capt. Cash, Chumpzilla, and Mayor McCheese are stepping on land mines and running for cover!
This Week’s Segments:
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the Game Boy Advance game and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, and Amazon Music!
Prometheus – There is No Why
Alien Resurrection – Kill It with Fire!
Alien 3 – Lock Her Up
Damned River – River Rat Rage
Drop Zone – Look Out Below
Rollerball – Prison Rules
Airborne – Wannabe Bullwinkle
Moonfall – Nuke the Moon!
Three Thousand Years of Longing – Not Worth the Wait
The Northman – Naked Volcano Fight
Black Adam – It’s Electrifying
The Wizard – It’s So Bad
Mars Attacks! – Ak Ak
GI Joe: The Movie – At Ease, Disease
RIPD – Here Come the Men in Flak
Mystery, Alaska – The Mighty Yuks
Necessary Roughness – Welcome to Foot ... Balls
True Romance – It’s White Boy Day
Jason X – Jason Gonna Give It to You
Critters 4 – Space Fur Balls
Create your
podcast in
minutes
It is Free
Cinema: A to B
I Finally Watched...
Star Wars Escape Pod
Pop Culture Happy Hour
Pod Meets World