Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever is bad. Like truly awful. Its plot is convoluted; its action is often nonsensical and unimaginative; and it does little to capitalize on its star power. Antonio Banderas literally has nothing to do. This guy was El Mariachi in Desperado, for Pete's sake. Let him do more than smoke cigarettes and drink.
Anyway, there is a boat load of slow motion, if you're into that. Most of it is wholly unnecessary, but it's there; and it probably adds 10 minutes to the runtime—a portion of your life you will never get back.
There's also a lot of sulking and staring. There's an abundance of Ray Park in a turtleneck. Yep, Darth Maul loves sweaters, but he doesn't love fighting because he only does it once. Like the rest of the movie, that scene sucks.
If you are noticing a trend, you should. We hated this movie. Critics also hated it. And audiences thoroughly despised it. It is one of our most egregious flops to date, earning barely above $20 million on a budget of $70 million.
You have been forewarned. So, sit back, slug a few H.A.Z.Y. IPAs from Sweetwater Brewing Co., and throw on your best "Tactleneck"! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Capt. Cash, Chumpzilla, and Mayor McCheese are stepping on land mines and running for cover!
This Week’s Segments:
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You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, and Amazon Music!
Terminator Genisys – Rotten Member Berries
The Rocketeer – The Antifa Adventurer that isn’t Dr. Jones
Snake Eyes – Crapped Out
The Lone Ranger – Wendigo Hammer
Dune – Spice Up Your Life
Club Dread – Naughty Cal
They Live – All Out of Bubblegum
Event Horizon – Brain Dead Space
Tin Cup – Bland Trap
Ed – Monkey Trouble
Side Out – Sponsored by MetLife
The Program – Place at the Table
Last Man Standing – No, Not the Tim Allen Show
Hudson Hawk – Scat Burglar
Cop Out – Bruce is Too Old for This S**t
The Suicide Squad – Passion Fruit Starfish
A Good Day to Die Hard – Davai Hard
F9: The Fast Saga – Space Cars
Legend – Glitter and Bubbles
Krull – Murder Frisbee
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