108. Zac Fine: Family Court & Child Custody - Creating collaborative rather than conflictual relationships

What's it like to use the Family Court to resolve custody battles?  Where can you find help if your partner puts up barriers to contact with your children.

 

Zac Fine shares his own experience of fighting for contact in court and advice that ceasefire and collaboration is best for the children and the adults involved. 

 

Zac Fine is a psychotherapist with a special interest in masculinity. He practices online https://zacfine.co.uk and runs a programme for separated fathers in crisis called Ceasefire Method https://zacfine.co.uk/blog/f/your-ex-weaponises-the-kids-is-court-the-right-move. He has a blog https://zacfine.co.uk/blog and a YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC3vhSyHNSP14F5jvt0gZgMg. Zac mentors young men involved in the criminal justice system with the charity A Band Of Brothers https://abandofbrothers.org.uk/ .

 

Article about my therapeutic approach https://www.centreformalepsychology.com/male-psychology-magazine-listings/a-therapist-who-has-survived-the-family-court-process-shows-other-men-how-they-can-get-through-it-too?

The deeper reasons for the crisis in fatherhood https://zacfine.co.uk/blog/f/the-western-war-on-the-father-archetype

How to survive family court: Lessons from my own experience https://zacfine.co.uk/blog/f/your-anger-disgust-and-rage-is-as-natural-as-the-ocean-and-rocks

Points from the Pod

I  really wouldn't advise anyone to go to family court

If you have to there's ways of doing it that can be affordable and much less likely to create unnecessary conflicts.

There is no point in throwing mud if you are the father and having some kind of match about who's the worst person. 

Ideally represent yourself, get a Mackenzie friend if you need more support. A Mackenzie friend is someone who isn't professionally qualified as a lawyer, but they , know their way around a system

Check out Families need Fathers

Keep saying the same thing. I want to have a, a predictable and regular contact with my child because that's in their interests

There's loads of research to show that child outcomes suffer as a result of fatherlessness or motherlessness

Get yourself to a, a men's group

Join a band of brothers, which is  all over England. They, do online men's circles free of charge.

If you can afford it, get some one to one therapy or coaching