How well do we handle feedback?

Someone once referred to advice, as sanctioned nagging.  It’s cute, but the fact is that we get advice all the time. Some of it is valuable, much of it useless.   But do we miss the value of the good advice by our defensiveness, by our pre programmed fight or flight response and simply our reflexive shutting down in the face of criticism?

Performance reviews, student conferences, even the old standby the report card, are all part of our feedback loop.  It’s all around us.

Those giving the feedback are often told that  it’s a skill, that there is an art and science to giving good advice.  But is the opposite true?   Is there also an art and skill in getting feedback?  Can we all make the process a whole lot more worthwhile by understanding how to maximize being on the receiving end? Doug Stone and Sheila Heen think so and they make their case in Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well.

My conversation with Doug Stone & Sheila Heen: