Half Past Dead is the last feature film with Steven Seagal as the main star to earn a theatrical release. If one were to track what came after, that would come as no surprise.
In his thankfully short-lived action cinema prime, Seagal was serviceable. Light on charm, looks, and acting acumen, his unique brand of punishment was entertaining enough. But, as the years and the pounds piled on, the sheen wore off. Dramatically.
Half Past Dead is a window into the next two decades of Seagal mumbling and sleep walking his way through increasingly terrible movies. There is little effort and most of the fighting is done by his plethora of stunt doubles.
This would all be sad to watch if we weren't privy to what a tremendous asshole he is. There are very few movie stars who deserved to fall as flat on their face as he did. Even the 3% Half Past Dead scored on Rotten Tomatoes is probably too generous.
Now, sit back, dull your senses with an Arctic Panzer Wolf from 3 Floyd's Brewing, and get those doo rags on! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Bling Blake, and Capt. Cash are half past caring about this mess of a movie!
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Wayne's World 2 – We're Putting on a Podcast ... Oh Yes
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MacGruber – Pound Some...
Blues Brothers 2000 – We're on a Mission from Pod
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It's a Wonderful Life – Hee Haw!
Santa's Slay – Grandpa Got Run Over by a Hell Deer
The Nutcracker and the Four Realms – Fresh Out of Fairy Dust
Tango & Cash – Armed and Definitely Dangerous
Bullet to the Head – Brawn, Booze, and Bullets
Judge Dredd – We are the Law
Stop! Or My Mom will Shoot – Literally, Please Stop
Over the Top – It's Like a Switch
The Stephen King Roundtable
The Mist – Took John Lee!
Doctor Sleep – Shine On
Dreamcatcher – A Bad Case of Alien Hemorrhoids
Wes Craven's New Nightmare – The Master Returns
Dukes of Hazzard – A Class-E Felony
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