I have been waiting what seems a lifetime,
Watching to see if you could trust me.
There is something rather odd, touching in your
Smile. I’d call it a knowing grin,
If only I knew.
I’ve looked in five languages, not including
My own, for words – rather, a phrase –
To say what I’m almost feeling.
It’s just one of those things: if you don’t
Already know, you never will, even with
My help.
On the other foot: if you know from before,
You won’t need me to tell you, and you
Wouldn’t want me to try.
Obviously, the only reason I sleep well at night
Is because I know that you know already
What I don’t know how to say.
I’ve attempted to explain to you many times before,
Moments when you were younger,
Living in other places, in other homes.
I have been a prodigal member of all your families.
Both of us know we’ve been awaiting my return.
Before you were born, I was there.
Even though you are sometimes younger than I am,
You saw my birth as well.
I tell you this now because the knowledge comes
Through you. When you knelt and crawled away,
You reminded me of something I never knew before.
(Manifestos of Neosurrealism, 1989)
Part Time (March 13, 1986)
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