I write often, it seems, about the "end of" this or that "universe," of a program closing a chapter without my knowing it at the time. Consider this the latest instalment, as we say goodbye to the recurring feature known as "Physical Evidence." It is dead; long may it live! And indeed, I didn't know at the time, but learned soon hereafter, that it was making Junior uncomfortable to record the voiceover. Without Junior, this feature is nothing, so away it goes. One of the "wrongs" with my undergraduate show which I set out to "right" with this one (shall we call it "post-doctoral?") is that I was always so deeply into myself and my own thing; this is, whatever it may seem, a family program.
On account of that, I have been wondering how much gas Bombast as a whole has left in the tank. Sometimes I feel that Physical Evidence was the program, though I am reminded that I've done many episodes that didn't include it, and that the show began without it, during a long period of unemployment, as something that was supposed to keep me connected to the world of people so that I didn't go completely feral, as I was threatening to do. So Bombast doesn't need Physical Evidence, but I also no longer need this radio thing in the same way. Why the existential dilemma, then? As I wrote back when Physical Evidence began under another, unfortunate, name, I wanted a way of dealing with the past, a way not to be doing "Today's Aberration, Tomorrow's Fashion" with the Forced Exposure catalog (that's an inside joke, sorry).
But one of my problems is that my head is frequently in the past and I have trouble "Being Here Now." So I am also thinking that a present-focused program may be a thing I need at the moment, and that maybe quitting this gig because my kid hit puberty isn't the most coherent course of action. Maybe. Also, it strikes me now (sorry if you've already realized this) as pretentious and condescending to think the present doesn't acquit itself perfectly well, or that I need to add value or focus to it.
I am guessing this will always feel like unfinished business: I have a list of about 100 things I was meant to play as part of this feature, but didn't get to. That will make me a little bit sad unless I find a way of folding those releases in somehow. I suppose I could do something like "playing the whole damn record," as I did with Lonely Is An Eyesore that one time, and which I didn't do often enough with the Physical Evidence releases. Or, you know, maybe I could just "sit with" my sadness and see how that goes. I'm doing the latter for the time being.
I come to bury Physical Evidence, not to praise it. And not even to eulogize it properly--this is a diary, not a collection of essays or even a proper blog. PE was truly the essence of the program in that it featured in some of my best shows, some of my worst, and a lot in the middle. But its absence is mostly a hole in my heart. Is that a tear rolling down my cheek as I write this? Yes, yes it is. Alright, we've both done enough work here for now.
So the "crime of the week" feature in these commentaries will have to wait for another time.
BOMBAST playlist, 2018 July 18, 2100-2300:
Everything is temporary
https://www.facebook.com/radiobombast?ref=hl
https://twitter.com/KidCatharsis
We're Not Alone, It's Hard To Tell: Transmission 530, 2020 June 10
Now, Later, Never and Ever: Transmission 529, 2020 June 3
Outright Denial of the Dying and the Sane: Transmission 528, 2020 May 27
Sorry If I Give You PTSD: Transmission 527, 2020 May 20
Just Admit You Don’t Know What To Do: Transmission 526, 2020 May 13
Deep off into Mother Universe: Transmission 525, 2020 May 6
Hello Refusal, You’re Just the Same as Usual: Transmission 524, 2020 April 29
I Got One Doctor That I Talk to Every Week About This Panic: Transmission 523, 2020 April 22
But What Do You Expect Me To Do? Transmission 522, 2020 April 15
Let the Sirens Sing Out Their Nightmare: Transmission 521, 2020 April 8
Can You Pretend To Love Chaos? Transmission 520, 2020 April 1
My Revenge Against the World Is To Believe Everything You Say: Transmission 519, 2020 March 25
Everything's Coming to a Grinding Halt: Transmission 518, 2020 March 18
You Try To Give Me Your Money, You Better Save It: Transmission 517, 2020 March 11
No Sex or Records for a Year and a Day: Transmission 516, 2020 March 5
It's the Beginning of the End: Transmission 515, 2020 March 4
Pay Your Respects to the Vultures, For They Are Your Future: Transmission 514, 2020 February 27
Call Me Your Nightmare, Call Me Your Dream: Transmission 513, 2020 February 26
All Surroundings Are Evolving: Transmission 512, February 19
Overstand the Futility of My Antics: Transmission 511, 2020 February 12
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