#165 He Didn’t Give Up—This Is Learned Helplessness

2025-10-02

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“He used to try... and now he just sits there.” Maybe you've said those words to yourself—or out loud to a friend. It’s one of the hardest parts of life after stroke, especially with aphasia. You're watching someone you love shrink. They used to fight. They used to care. Now they won’t even try. But what if what looks like apathy is actually something else? This episode unpacks a hidden truth: most stroke survivors haven’t given up. They’re just surviving. They’re stuck in the moment, unable to see how today’s effort connects to anyth...

“He used to try... and now he just sits there.”

Maybe you've said those words to yourself—or out loud to a friend. It’s one of the hardest parts of life after stroke, especially with aphasia. You're watching someone you love shrink. They used to fight. They used to care. Now they won’t even try. But what if what looks like apathy is actually something else?

This episode unpacks a hidden truth: most stroke survivors haven’t given up. They’re just surviving. They’re stuck in the moment, unable to see how today’s effort connects to anything that still matters. Especially with aphasia, there’s no clear line between the task and the “why.” That’s where learned helplessness sneaks in. And that’s why your role as a care partner becomes so important—not to force effort, but to rebuild relevance.

Key Takeaways:

What learned helplessness really is—and why it’s not laziness
• Why survivors need us to draw the connection between “effort” and “outcome”
• How trauma and disorientation hide behind silence or compliance
• The power of identity, relevance, and one person who believes in you
• A better way to respond when you feel stuck, tired, or unheard

If this hits home—there’s a guide I want you to have.

TAKE IT BACK: A Survivor’s Guide to Reclaiming Strength, Dignity, and Confidence After Stroke

More Resources:
Two aphasia caregivers and two different paths. Are you Lisa or Elena? https://lifeaphasiaacademy.co/lisa-or-elena

Feel stuck in your recovery? This guide will remind you why progress is still possible: 3 Keys to LIFE Beyond Aphasia

Aphasia spouses and caregivers, we have resources for you. https://lifeaphasiaacademy.co/care-partner-resources

Explore speech pathology communication coaching options: https://www.dolifespeechpathology.com/treatment-for-aphasia-and-neurologic-conditions

Join our private support community for aphasia care partners: LIFE Aphasia Collective

Subscribe for new YouTube episodes: https://www.youtube.com/@LIFESpeechPathology/videos

Listen to Listen for LIFE Aphasia podcast on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/listen-for-life-aphasia-podcast/id1621948384

🌱 You’re not failing. You’re adapting.

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