The Skill Stack Podcast

# 046 - Sometimes No is what You Need to Hear

People need to feel that they are in control…so when they think they are being sold to, they will say No...and if you accept their “No” and give them permission to say “No” as many times as they like, then they feel safe and in control. The word No can also be hidden. It might not even be the word “No” that you hear…it might be a variation of “No”…and you need to be on guard and listen for these verbal clues. Clues such as; I need to talk to my boss, my partner, my wife etc etc I don’t understand it. I can’t afford it. I don’t think I need it It’s not what I want I don’t need it now I think I need a different version …and so on. When I hear the word “No” I like to push back a bit. And by listening to this podcast you will learn how to do that.

# 045 - 9 Phrases that Create Immediate Action

Why is it that words can have such a dramatic effect on human behaviour? Well you only have to go back 2 million years because it’s your 2 million year old reptile brain that controls virtually everything you think about and therefore every action you take following that thought. Your 2 million old brain is constantly alert and on the lookout for problems. It especially likes anything that can potentially cause you danger and this means that many people live in a constant state of fear. I’m sure you’ve heard of the acronym F.E.A.R. which stands for False Evidence Appearing Real. Montaigne the great French philosopher (1533 – 1592) said “He who fears he shall suffer, already suffers what he fears” but I like his most famous quote: ”My life has been full of terrible misfortunes most of which never happened” Even in the bible over 2,000 years ago there is a quote in Job 3:25 that says “That which I have feared has come upon me.” The very act of thinking about something can make it happen or bring it into being. William James the father of modern psychology (1842 – 1910) said that “That the greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes.” That’s crazy isn’t it? Thoughts travel faster than anything in the universe…and you will all have examples of that. A thought can travel so quickly in your own brain from thought to action or a thoughts can spark your hormones into releasing chemicals that either inspire you or deflate you. So years and years before "The Secret" or before anyone “bought into” the idea that thoughts are things….and thoughts most certainly ARE things….we see many of the great thinkers in life acknowledging that as being true. So, if thoughts are things and thoughts alone can make things happen, then the use of words will allow your thoughts to affect someone else’s brain. We are, after all, just moist robots, programmed by language. (Before we get into the 9 Phrases That Create Immediate Action, I want you to remember one crucial thing; that whenever you start something new, something for the first time, you will not be very good at it. That doesn’t matter. The important thing is that you use these as and when you can.) These came from a great book by Chris Voss entitled: Never Split the Difference - Negotiating as if your life depended on it. I thoroughly recommend it to you. 1. “Is now a bad time to talk?” 2. “Have you given up on this project?” 3. “How am I supposed to do that?” 4. “What does it take to be successful around here?” 5. “My name is Ray. What’s the Ray discount?” 6. “Your offer is very generous. I’m sorry that just doesn’t work for me.” 7. “I don’t see how that would ever work.” 8. “Why would you ever do business with me?” or “Why would you ever change from your existing supplier, they’re great.” 9. “It seems like you strongly value the fact that you’ve always paid us on time.” Or “It seems like you don’t care what position you are leaving me in.”

# 044 - 9 Foundations for Success

Foundations. Very important for without them you cannot build anything meaningful. And if you do build something without strong foundations then you run the risk of it all eventually falling down. Here are 3 examples where stronger foundations can make a significant difference. 1. Studying for a degree: A 2010 study by a collection of five Canada-based psychology professors found that of students who register for a four-year university degree programme, 25% drop out before completion - the root cause being a lack of vision and goal-setting. In an attempt to improve this statistic, the study helped students through a four-month goal setting process, with their results showing a significant improvement in academic performance in comparison to students who did not partake in goal-setting. 2. Unexpected windfalls of income Take the lottery winner who becomes an overnight millionaire or even multi-millionaire…according to BBC Capital it’s a sad fact that within 3-5 years lottery winners are twice as likely as ordinary people to declare bankruptcy and within that same time frame over 35% of them do just that…over a longer timeframe even more fall by the wayside. 3. Starting a business. Unfortunately, the statistics for new business owners are even worse. According to the CBI in the UK 60% of businesses fail in the first 3 years. “According to Investopedia, the four most common reasons why small businesses fail are a lack of sufficient capital; poor management; inadequate business planning; and overblowing their marketing budgets - all of which have either direct or indirect ties to a company’s vision statement and their goals.” So if foundations are so important, why don’t more people make an effort to work on them? The answers I get most often are: 1. I don’t know what to do 2. I have no time to do things like this 3. Other things take priority What that tells me is that either what you’re doing is not a priority in your life or you are working outwith your values…you might not even know what they are or if you do, you won’t know what you values are. Which is ironic because the first of the 9 Foundations is Values. What are yours? You not only need to do these and find out, but you ought to be able to reel them off to anyone who asks..at least reel of the first 5. So the 9 Foundations of a solid business are: 1. Values – as the founder – what are yours? Find them at www.DrDemartini.com 2. Vision – Do you have a clear picture of the purpose of your life? If not, spend time setting one out and have fun doing it. 3. Pick the most ordinary business that fits both your values and your vision 4. Constantly Improve that business. 5. Listen to your customers – get to know them better than anything 6. Respond to what your ideal customer tells you 7. Set the highest standards 8. What’s Your Story? Why do you want to do this? What motivated you? 9. Live the story every day

# 043 - Subliminal Trigger words that Work - 11 Magic Words for Maximum Impact

In a world of sameness, in a world of competition, in a world where there are similar products, budgets and resources, how come some people struggle and others seem to breeze through attracting customers and cash with ease? Successful people and businesses know what to say and the order in which to say it for maximum impact. Could You…? I’m not sure If It’s For You… Are You Open-Minded? What Do You Know About….? How Would You Feel If…..? Imagine If…. When Would Be a Good Time…? You Have 3 Options Two Types of People If, Like me…. Most People….. 3 Things To Do Now 1. Print off The List – Keep it close and start using it 2. Check Through Your Marketing and make adjustments 3. Use the Words Every Day – in a conversation, in an email or in new social media posts that you put out.

# 042 - How to be the Best You Can be in Your World

You may already believe you’re the actually the best at what you do. Especially if If you’re a man (for this tends to be how most men think) you will think that you are better than average at most things – driving especially. But chances are, you’re not. Chances are, you’re settling in, settling for “it will do”, getting along, doing the best you can in the circumstances you’re in. There are challenges and things are tough. They’re tough for everyone. But as they say you can make progress or you can make excuses but you can’t make both. When I said that to some of the 1-2-1 clients I talk to each month, it prickled a few egos and there was a bit of push-back. Which is good in a way as it usually means that progress will be on the other sde of a breakthrough. But it’s actually quite amazing when I ask this or talk about this, how quickly people will metaphorically stand up and defend not just the status quo, the way things “are” but the inevitability of it. We’ve been taught since forever that the world needs people who join in and who are followers, not just leaders. Not everyone can lead, can they? We’ve been taught that fitting in can be a lot better for us than standing out, (I’m thinking of the first year in High School here) and that good enough is just that…it’s good enough. Which might have been fine in a previous time. It might have been fine if your anonymously working for a company. It’s certainly fine if you work in the public sector – I know many people who work in the public sector and they are almost actively encouraged to do the basics or even less - … but that doesn’t work so well in the private sector. It certainly doesn’t work so well if you’re self-employed in what is in effect a winner-takes-all world. So what to do about it? Provide value at fair exchange. Then leverage it. Anyone, anyone who has done well in business has provided value at fair exchange. If they didn’t, they wouldn’t make any money. It’s as simpe as that. So if you’re going to do it….do it well and you will be rewarded accordingly. And if you’re going to do it well, do it better. The way you become the best in your world is by quitting the stuff where you can’t be the best. Delegate it out. Leverage it. That leaves you the resources to invest in getting through the slump and the drag in time towards becoming the best. It’s that simple. Stop doing what you’re not good at and concentrate on what you are good at. All success leave clues. The Skill Stack shows you what to look for and more importantly, like any great recipe, the correct order of the ingredients and skills is as important. Join us on Facebook. You can also get us in our Twitter account: @TheSkillStack and on Instagram email us on: info@TheSkillStack.com