#86 - The BIrth of Davey Dabs

Davey Dabs will tell you that he recalls being in the womb.

“It’s my earliest memory”, he contemplatively whispers as vapor pours from the nostrils like a chugging steam engine in slow motion. The legs are crossed in Zen mode while recounting the event with deep transcendence. This was his first and most important challenge and he is grateful for the fortitude and extreme luck that blessed him in those competitive moments.

“Well, that’s not exactly true. I remember it felt like being shot out of a cannon before frantically swimming through the cervix like it was the first stage of a triathlon.” His eyes are shut while a chuckle directs a soft nod, rewinding the episode from remembrance. “I’m lucky to be here, actually, because I was not the first sperm into the fallopian tubes.”

Naysayers would rightfully disregard this fantastic recount as an utter yarn, but when the eyelids of Davey Dabs lift to expose the glossy, fixed bulbs, they portray a piercing vitality that invites your intrigue to become informed. In these rare moments, any doubt about the authenticity of this flashback is cast off because in the rare times that he shows absolute sincerity, there is always something to be learned. As much of a clown Davey Dabs can be in moments of unorchestrated chaos, the opposing poles of magnetism can be referenced to explain his constitution. Meanwhile, Rocky the Pitbull licks his bare feet and you wonder if they have both reached the state of nirvana.

This reminiscence, Davey Dabs will tell you, was evoked amidst a peyote ceremony with Soaring Eagle, our native American friend who invited him to an annual sweat with the Puyallup tribe.

His nickname is Sits In Front Of Television which was given to him by Davey Dabs’ roommate, Rachel the Ripper.