Burning Man Ebola and The Vaxx Street Boys Are Back… Alright!

The devil meets a guy at the Gates of Hell and says, “Welcome to Hell. You will spend all eternity here, but you get to choose how to spend it. You may choose one of these three doorways. Once you choose a door, you may not change it. So let’s get started.”

The devil opens the first door. The guy looks in and sees people in a sea of lava, screaming in agony. “No way am I spending eternity like that,” he says. “Let’s move on.”

The devil opens the second door, where people are being stretched on the rack. “No way,” the guy says again. “Let’s move on.”

The devil opens the third door, and the guy sees a bunch of people standing knee-deep in mud and human shit, chatting and drinking coffee. “Lesser of three evils,” he shrugs. “Ok, I’ll choose this one.”

“Fine,” says the devil. “Wait right here, and I’ll get you some coffee.”

The guy settles in with his coffee, thinking that this isn’t so bad.

Suddenly, a voice comes over the loudspeaker saying, “Coffee break’s over! Back on your heads!”

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What’s the first thing that comes to mind when there’s a flash flood in the desert and thousands of drugged-up, debauched, effigy worshippers in Mad Max gear try to leave the mud pit toilet of boils and dysentery and three-eyed dinosaur shrimp?

You shut the gates so they can’t escape. Obvio.

That must be what they teach in FEMA Disaster Management 101 because that’s exactly what the Controllers’ police pets in Maui did – put up barricades to prevent residents from fleeing the perfect grid of selective fire that incinerated houses, cars, and children, but skipped billionaire’s orbit.

Well, the jury’s out on the kids too, but more about that in today’s Story Of O, Celebretard Philanthropath By Day, Pedo Slave Trader By Night. And, her good friend Kill, Master of Mosquitoes and all-round Fun Guy.

Of course, it was the people who disobeyed the barricades that survived the fire, just like it is the ones who didn’t comply with the vax mandates in the last round of The Covaids Games who are most likely to escape “Urgent Death”.

But don’t get too excited, Horror Harrari already has a plan in place for climate change, i.e. all flights should be banned and entire countries should be on lockdown to combat this scourge of desert floods and firenados.

I’m sure the plan can be adjusted slightly to include tax objectors and vax dissidents.

All human sacrifices to be completed in DEW time. 

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