“Taking care of yourself after sexual assault
Common feelings
There is no right or wrong way to feel if you have been sexually assaulted. Everyone reacts differently, and a range of emotions are all natural responses to trauma. Some common reactions to sexual assault include:
Fear or anxiety of
• Who to trust
• A similar event happening again
• Being left alone
• Breaking down or losing control
• About what might have happened (especially if you can’t remember everything)
Anger at
• What has happened
• A lack of support or understanding from others
Helplessness
• Feeling a loss of control over life, or that the world is a dangerous place
Sadness for
• Being hurt, emotionally and physically
Guilt or self-blame
• Feeling somehow responsible
• Regret for things done and not done
Shame
• About what has happened
Detached
• Everything feeling unreal or strange
Physical sensations
Physical sensations are often reactions to stress and can develop several months after the event. Some common feelings include:
Feeling tense or irritable, uptight or panicky
Heart racing, or chest feeling tight
Dizzy or lightheaded
Stomach churning and loss of appetite
Difficulty sleeping or nightmares
Poor memory and concentration
Difficulty making decisions
Feeling depressed or low in mood
Change in sex drive.
Common thoughts and reactions
“I feel numb”
You may just feel numb. The event may seem unreal, like a dream, something that hasn’t really happened. Sometimes you might feel spaced out, or even disorientated – this can be the mind’s way of trying to shut out the experience.
“I have to keep busy”
Being active may help you to cope. But, overactivity can be a problem if you overtire yourself or your behaviour feels out of control.
“It feels like it’s happening again”
Sometimes people get ‘flashbacks’ – vivid memories or momentswhen they feel as if the assault is happening again. This may come out of the blue or be triggered by a particular place, event, thought or feeling, or even a smell or noise. It’s important to remember that these are the normal effects of an abnormal experience and the mind’s attempts to process what happened. It doesn’t mean you’re going mad and although it can be frightening when it happens, it is not dangerous.
“I feel jumpy or irritable”
You may feel extra sensitive to noises, sudden movements or even feelings in your own body, or feel as if you are always ‘wound up’ and can’t sit still.
“I don’t want to see anyone”
You may feel like being alone or staying away from places that remind you of the assault. You might stop going out or answering the telephone. It can help to get emotional support from others but this may be difficult if you have upsetting or complicated feelings about what has happened. However, being alone might also feel hard or frightening.
“I just want to run away”
You may feel like running away from it all. This may mean avoiding thinking and talking about what happened or using alcohol or drugs. Although this might make you feel better in the short-term, it might lead to more difficulties in the long-term. Everyone is different and you may experience some or all of these feelings at different times.” https://sarchelp.co.uk/support-guidance/taking-care-of-yourself-after-sexual-assault/.
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