#278 - Leaving Las Vegas

Leaving Las Vegas is like coming down off cocaine. It sucks. Well, probably because you are coming down off cocaine. Because there’s nothing fun about returning to your mild-mannered desk job after getting a taste of what it’s like to be a rock star. In fact, no one ever said, “Thank God that’s over, now I get to go back to my accounting firm.” Ok, maybe someone did say that. Like, an accountant who unexpectedly got fast tracked into a frenzied post-Spearmint Rhino bacchanal. And it scared him. Because no one should paddle into Bonzai Pipeline if they haven’t first learned how to stand up on a surfboard.

Is there anything more punishing than the reality bite of seeing that skyline shrink in the distance through the small airplane window? It’s as if you’ve just had a chunk of your soul grizzled out by a werewolf. However, unlike the mythical creature, you unfortunately won’t be morphing into one with the next full moon to devour fleshy tourists gorged on gargantuan buffets and Yardaritas. Nothing fun like that. Instead, you’ll die a slow, excruciating death from the bite. For the next 2 days, that is, until the liver has a chance to breathe again.

Of course, it might be different if you’re headed back to normalcy with bulging pockets after crushing it at the tables, but that’s never happened to me. Or anyone I know. Well, that’s not exactly accurate. I have friends who have won money in Vegas, but they generally won’t include an excel spread sheet detailing the losses incurred leading up to those rare moments of dopamine filled glory. And it is those losses that keep the casino lights on, the air cool, and the carpet confusing.

But if gambling is the driving force of Vegas’ success, I wonder what affect the new consumption lounges will have on Sin City. Because embarking on a strip search for the Great Pyramid, the Eiffel Tower and the Big Apple can be a dangerous lure with a belly full of Redbull and vodka, but Blue Dreaming can create a completely different course for a city built on bad decisions.

Can Cannabis kill Vegas?