Science of Social Bonding in Family, Friendship & Romantic Love

This episode I discuss the science of social bonding- the process by which we form attachments. I explain the neural and hormonal basis for "social homeostasis" (our drive for a given amount of socializing) which reveals why we get lonely, why we seek out connection with others and how power dynamics (hierarchies) shape those connections. I also discuss the neurochemical basis of introversion and extroversion, of trust and how shared experiences that promote similar physiological states in two or more individuals, leads to more rapid bonding. I also discuss how food and oxytocin play key roles in social bonding. This episode covers quality peer-reviewed science and practical tools for anyone seeking to find, build or end relationships.

Read the full show notes for this episode at hubermanlab.com.

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Timestamps

00:00:00 Social Bonding: Child-Parent, Romantic, Friendship, Breakups  

00:03:10 Sponsors: AG1, LMNT & Waking Up

00:07:08 Social Bonding as a Biological Process  

00:10:03 Social Isolation  

00:13:32 Social Homeostasis & Neural Circuits for Social Drive  

00:18:55 Brain Areas & (Neuro)Chemistry of Social Drive  

00:22:48 What Is Social Homeostasis & Dopamine  

00:27:00 When We Lack Social Interactions: Short- Versus Long-Term  

00:28:10 Introverts & Extroverts  

00:31:00 “Good” Versus “Bad” Social Interactions & Hierarchies  

00:33:54 Loneliness & Dorsal Raphe Nucleus & Social Hunger  

00:37:33 Tools  

00:38:05 Socializing & Food Appetite: Crossover Craving  

00:42:45 Falling in Love  

00:45:05 Tools for Social Bonds: Merging Physiologies; Story  

00:53:54 Childhood Attachment Patterns in Adulthood  

01:03:45 Attachment Styles: Autonomic Versus Intellectual Attachment  

01:06:10 Emotional Empathy & Cognitive Empathy, Arguing  

01:09:45 Allan N. Schore & “Right Brain Psychotherapy”  

01:10:40 Oxytocin & Trust, In Males Versus Females, Hormonal Glue  

01:16:10 Repairing Broken Bonds to Self & Others  

01:18:56 Social (Media) Butterflies: Biological Basis  

01:24:08 Key Points for Bonding & Understanding Social Bonds  

01:27:07 Breaking Up  

01:28:36 Synthesis  

01:31:17 Zero-Cost Support, Sponsors, Supplements, Instagram, Twitter  

Disclaimer & Disclosures