Episode 118: Helen Fisher - Understanding Why We Love

Helen Fisher was an anthropologist, a professor, an author, and was one of the world's experts on the science of love.

This is the final summer rebroadcast of 2024, episode 47 of "Keep Talking," the most-downloaded audio episode from this show. Helen sadly died on Saturday, August 17, 2024. She was charming, brilliant, and a gem of a human being, and I wanted to honor her by reposting her episode as the final summer rebroadcast of this year.

During our conversation, Helen talks about her background interest in love, the role that love plays in human existence, the evolutionary purpose of love, how the subconscious influences who we fall in love with, how to know if you aren't in love, and wisdom she would provide to improve one's probability for healthy romance and a compatible mate choice.

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(00:00) Intro

(01:05) How Helen got interested in studying love

(05:18) Trailblazing the academic study of love

(06:22) What is love?

(11:01) Love and love decisions are life's most important choices

(12:46) Understanding "love maps" and the unconscious as it relates to love

(22:15) Millennials and "slow love"

(27:56) When are you not in love? When is it time to end a relationship?

(37:58) Identifying great compatibility matches

(41:53) Mitigating the risks of neuroticism from torpedoing a relationship

(48:30) Attachment styles and compatibility

(54:46) Identifying the root cause of depression

(56:46) Ending a relationship when indifference is present

(01:08:00) Designing a lifestyle that makes you a better and authentic partner

(01:11:27) The role of marriage in human life

(01:15:30) Helen getting married in her mid-70's