458-Why Doesn't She Want Sex: Drop The Expectations

Let’s set the scene-

You’ve planned the perfect evening.

A Friday night—date night.

You and your wife are dressed to the nines. There’s a show, a fantastic dinner, and deep conversation that reconnects your hearts.

But then you arrive back home…

What are you hoping will happen next?

Here’s the truth: that unspoken hope—your expectation—might be doing more harm than you realize.

When a husband subconsciously expects intimacy, it can feel like pressure to his wife.

And that pressure? It makes her withdraw. Intimacy begins to feel transactional—like something she owes you, a “reward” for good effort, rather than a mutual outpouring of love.

In fact, the more you expect it, the less she’ll desire it.

So, how do you break free from this pattern and draw her closer instead?

Here are three key ideas:

1. Drop the expectations & be content in your life (find true contentment in life by letting God satisfy you in many ways)

2. Share your feelings more with your wife (She needs emotional connection in order to be open to physical intimacy)

3. Think strategically about your marriage (You’re intentional about your career, your goals—why not your marriage?)
   
   

In today’s episode, we unpack these three steps and explore how to release the pressure of expectations, discover fulfillment outside of intimacy (even when sex isn’t in the picture) [We highly recommend you checking out Ep. 417: Re-sensitize Your Pleasure for more on this topic], and create a marriage that’s full of joy, connection, and God-honoring pleasure.

We believe God when he said he meant for couples to be “one flesh”. And we believe that he created intimacy to be unifying, satisfying, and connecting heart, soul, and body.

We hope this episode brings a new perspective and new joy, intimacy, and connection into your marriage.

 

God bless you!

 

Belah & Team

 

PS - If this episode resonates with you, we highly recommend signing up for our FREE Masculinity Reclaimed Foundations Course at delightym.com/mrf.

PPS - Here is a quote from a recent MRF graduate:

"We were emotionally, intimately, and spiritually disconnected. We lived in the same house but didn't live together. I was angry and bitter, critical of everything, and judgmental. I hated that about myself. [Now,] My wife and I are closer than we have ever been! She has a glow. It's crazy how much we love each other. Life is fun! I can't stand to be without her. Glory to God!”