The Private School Leader Podcast
Education:Self-Improvement
Episode 114: 7 Ways To Turn Encouragement Into Your Superpower
If you could pick one superpower, what would it be?
A recent survey asked people to name their most desirable superpower and the top ten results were: Invisibility, Teleportation, Mind Reading, Super Strength, Time Travel, Healing/Regeneration, Flight, Super Intelligence, Super Speed and Telekinesis.
The superpower that I want the most is Teleportation. Just imagine being in a meeting with a grumpy parent and you could teleport yourself to your favorite beach!
Well, as much as I wish that I could grant you the ability to read minds or travel through time, I can’t. However, on today’s episode of The Private School Leader Podcast, I am going to teach you 7 Ways To Turn Encouragement Into Your Superpower!
I hope that you will listen to the podcast for your weekly dose of motivation, inspiration and PD. Thanks so much for listening and thanks for making a difference!
Mark Minkus
Being a private school leader is a VERY difficult job. You have to make hundreds of decisions every day, and you have to keep everyone safe, increase enrollment, keep the parents happy, keep the board happy, motivate the teachers, deal with student discipline, beat last year’s test scores and come in under budget.
That can lead to you feeling tired, discouraged and stressed out. I’ve been there. That’s why I created THRIVE Academy just for you. THRIVE Academy is a digital course that will help you get out of survival mode and get back to feeling energized at school. To learn more, go to www.theprivateschoolleader.com/thrive
If you have gotten value from listening to the podcast, I would love to work with you 1-on-1.
I help my clients overcome imposter syndrome, set boundaries between work and home and how to actually get important things done instead of having your day ruled by the tyranny of the urgent. Sounds impossible right? It’s not. I can teach you how to make it possible.
I would love to be your coach and I have a few spots open. Go to www.theprivateschoolleader.com/coaching to learn more about working with me 1-on-1.
I am excited to share with you a new resource and I want to give this to you as a FREE GIFT to say “thank you” for listening to the podcast. It is called The 7 Secrets To Improving Teacher Morale. As private school leaders, we are always looking for ways to improve teacher morale at our schools, but it is hard to know where to start. Well, now you have a step by step plan and you can grab it at theprivateschoolleader.com/morale
I want to give you a FREE gift called 7 Strategies To Effectively Deal With Difficult Teachers. Sometimes we need some courage and confidence to deal with difficult teachers. What you need is a plan! This guide is a step by step plan that you can use to help one of your difficult teachers improve their performance and improve their attitude. Go to theprivateschoolleader.com/difficult to grab this free guide!
I want to say thank you for listening to the podcast by giving you a FREE GIFT. It is called The 7 Steps To Having A Successful Meeting With An Upset Parent. This guide is an 11 page pdf that gives you a step by step plan to have better meetings with the parents at your school. Every good coach has a game plan. Every good teacher has a lesson plan. Too many private school leaders don’t have a plan when they sit down to meet with an upset parent. Well, now you have a PLAN! You can grab this FREE GUIDE at www.theprivateschoolleader.com/meeting
I’ve created a free resource for you called “The 6 Things That Every Private School Teacher Wants From Their Leader”. This guide is a 6 page pdf that will be a game changer for you. I guarantee you that if you do these 6 things, the teachers at your school will be happy to follow you. You can pick up your free guide by going to www.theprivateschoolleader.com/guide
I want to give you a gift to say “thank you” for listening to the podcast. I have created a FREE guide for you called “5 Strategies To Help You Work With Difficult Parents”. We know that working with parents is part of the job and most of our parents are great, but some of them can be very demanding and emotional and difficult. This guide will give you the tools that you need to build better relationships and have better meetings with the difficult parents at your school. Go to www.theprivateschoolleader.com/parents to grab the guide. Thank you again for listening every week!
Please check out all of the free resources on my website that can help you serve and lead your school community. There are "Plug & Play PD's" (45 minute webinars with guided notes) as well as Top 10 Lists of Leadership Books, Productivity Books and TED Talks over at www.theprivateschoolleader.com/resources. You can grab the show notes for today's episode at www.theprivateschoolleader.com/episode114
Please write a review of this podcast and help the algorithm push this content out to more leaders. I would love to get your feedback about the podcast, ideas for future episodes and hear about how you are implementing these strategies in your life and at your school. You can email me at mark.o.minkus@gmail.com Thanks!!
I’ve created a FREE RESOURCE for you called “The Top 6 Ways To Protect Your School From a Lawsuit”. This is a 10 page pdf that will help you to keep your staff and students safe and help keep your school out of court. Litigation is expensive, time consuming and extremely stressful. This common sense guide will help you to be more intentional and proactive when it comes to protecting your school. You can grab “The Top 6 Ways To Protect Your School From a Lawsuit” at www.theprivateschoolleader.com/lawsuit. Thanks!
I am excited to share a brand new resource with you. It is a 9 page pdf called: “How To Use Verbal Judo To Have Better Conversations With The Parents At Your School” What is “Verbal Judo”? "Verbal Judo" is a communication strategy that focuses on using words effectively to de-escalate conflict, resolve disputes, and achieve positive outcomes in various interpersonal interactions, particularly in high-pressure situations.
George Thompson and Jerry Jenkins wrote a book called Verbal Judo: The Gentle Art Of Persuasion. So, I have taken several important strategies from the book and applied them to your life as a private school leader. Grab your free copy of “How To Use Verbal Judo To Have Better Conversations With The Parents At Your School” at www.theprivateschoolleader.com/judo
TRANSCRIPT:
• Welcome to the Private School Leader podcast, where private school leaders learn how to thrive and not just survive as they serve and lead their schools. • I strongly believe that it is possible to have a long and happy and fulfilling career as a private school leader. And my passion is to help you figure out exactly how to do just that right here on the Private School Leader podcast. And I'm your host, Mark Menkus. • • • So I want to start today's episode with kind of a really • strange question. • • • And • • • is it, uh, this is the question. If you could pick any superpower • • that you would have for the rest of your life, which one would it be? If you could pick any superpower, • • • and, you know, I did a search on this, and when they ask people this question, • • • • • in order, here are the top 10. Invisibility, teleportation, mind reading, • super strength, time travel, regeneration, flight, superintelligence, • super speed, • • and telekinesis. • • So I don't know if I named the superpower that you would pick, • • • but for me, I think I would pick teleportation. • • • • And just the idea of being in a meeting • • that I don't want to be in, • and then I could teleport to a beach. • • That sounds pretty amazing. Um, and so sometimes as private school leaders, we get ourselves into situations where • • • we're in a meeting or, um, in a situation where we just wish we could teleport out of there. And if we end up on a beach, • all the better. So if you could pick a superpower, which one, uh, would it be? • • Well, on today's episode, what I want to do • • is to help you see how you can turn encouragement into your superpower. • • • And the way we're going to do that is there's a book written by Jordan Montgomery that's called the Art of Encouragement. How to Lead Teams, Spread Love, and Serve from the Heart. • • And we're going to take a look at some of the key • • • • • principles, uh, • • • the key takeaways from this book, and apply it to you specifically as a private school leader. And so, on today's episode of the Private School Leader podcast, we're going to talk about how to turn encouragement into your superpower. • • • •
I want to help you have a better second half of your school year
And before we jump into that, you know, if you're listening to this in real time, • it's near the end of the year. • • And when we come to the end of a year, we typically look back and we look forward. We kind of reflect on the first half of the school year that started back in August, • • and we think about the second half of the school year, • • and then we also think about new Year's Day and New Year's resolutions and this is the year that we're going to blank. • • • • Well, I want to • help you • • fill in that blank. • • • And there's really two ways that I want to help you • • because • • I want to help you have a better second half of your school year than you did the first half. And I want to set you up to be built to last. And I want to help you have that long and happy and fulfilling career that I'm always talking about. • And so there's two things that you can check out. One is Thrive Academy. It's an online digital course that will take you step by step, strategy by strategy, through everything that I've learned over my 33 year career. And I've packaged it for you into • • seven modules and um, 29 lessons • • and um, a printable workbook. And it's asynchronous work. And then there's also office hours once a week where you can connect with other leaders and Thrive Academy students. • • • They, • • there are dozens of them and they are just, they're changing themselves, they're changing their schools and this is something that could be a big uh, deal, a game changer for you. And so find out more about that@thePR privatescooler.com thrive • • • and that's a way that you could change the script that you could fill in the blank for the second half of the school year. But another way is also to consider one on one coaching with me. I would love to work with you. And again, you can go to the privatescooler.com coaching • • and you could set up a free 20 minute Zoom. It's free. It's 20 minutes. • You talk, I listen. And • • I listen to what is the biggest problem, what's your biggest dream. And then I, uh, we talk a little bit about • what coaching is all about. And so u, um, you know the privatesccool.com coaching the privatescg.com thrive • • there are two ways where you could take a step, • an important step • to make sure that the second half of the school year is better than the first half. And also to make yourself built to last • • and • have that long and happy and fulfilling career as a private school leader. • • And then I also want to give you a free gift. Um, this is called the six things that every private school teacher wants from their leader. And it's a six page PDF that I believe can be a game changer for you. And I guarantee that if you do these six things that the teachers at your school will be happy to follow you. And so you can get that@the privatescoolleader.com guide, the six things that every private school teacher wants from their leader. The Privatechoolleader.com guide, just that free. Just as a thank you for listening to the podcast. • • Al right, so we're going to talk about seven ways to turn encouragement into your superpower. And I'm going to run them down • • • and then we're going to talk briefly about each one and I'll give an example of how you can implement that at school with your team. • • • And also I'll take good care of you in the show notes, as usual@the privatescgal.com Episode 114. • • Um, so that you can just listen, um, a list of seven things. That's a lot to remember. So, um, just check out the show notes.
Seven ways to turn encouragement into your superpower at your school
All right, Seven ways to turn encouragement into your superpower. Number one, encourage with authenticity. Number two, create a culture of appreciation. • Number three, encourage effort over perfection. • • Number four, be a source of support during the tough times. • • Number five, lead by example. Number six, foster strong relationships based on trust. And number seven is encourage self compassion. • • And I told you at the top of the episode that we're kind of breaking down this book, the Art of Encouragement by Jordan Montgomery, and then applying them to you and your team at your school. And so number one is encourage with authenticity. • • And this is really a core message of the book that there is such a thing as authentic encouragement. • • And we'll talk a little bit more about that. But, you know, sometimes we give compliments. Sometimes we give those pets on the back. Sometimes we say, you know, good job, or we say thanks. • • • • • But • • • authentic • encouragement is about sincerity • • • • and it's about noticing. • • It's about being specific. • • • Um, it's about acknowledging that effort • • • • unique ways • and consistently. • • • • And it is encouragement that comes from your heart. • • • And so this isn't something that's rote. This isn't something that's perfunctory. This isn't something that is just, we do it and we move on. This is something that comes from the heart. It's authentic. • • And so a couple of examples, you know, instead of just saying great job, • • • we can specify exactly what impressed you about the thing that the teacher did • or the team member did. • • • And so, • • um, does that take more effort? Yes. Are we busy? Yes. • • • • • Is it difficult to find the time to • • • • give authentic encouragement and to be specific? Yes. • • Um, but it is a super important thing if you • want to be an excellent leader that people trust. If you want to lead your school and elevate your School. I really believe that encouragement • is like that quote, a rising tide lifts all boats. • • That encouragement, creating a culture of encouragement in your school, starting with you at the top, • • can be transformational for your school culture. • • And so, you know, the things that you're expressing appreciation for and that you're encouraging them about, it could be they're trying something new with their teaching or • • the extra time after class that you see them, you know, working with a student or out in the hall, or just even the positive vibe that they have in the classroom and that you just really appreciate, • um, how much fun the kids have in that class • • • and that authenticity coming through in your praise, with it being specific and heartfelt, • • it can make your team feel truly appreciated as opposed to • • • just, • • • • you know what I'm talking about, because it's happened to you before. So if you're a division head, maybe it came from your head of school. If you're head of school, maybe it's come from your board, where it just seems like it's • • • • the authentic praise and the encouragement is kind of feels like it's few and far between. And then sometimes it just feels like it's rote or it's just going through the motions. And so we're not going to do that with our teams. • We are going to lead with the heart. We're going to give that authentic and specific • • praise and encouragement, and we're going to try and do it as often as possible. And it's highly motivating and it's highly appreciated, • • um, • • by your team that receives it.
Jordan Montgomery talks about creating a culture of appreciation at your school
Okay, so then on to number two. We are going to try to create a culture of appreciation. • • And so, um, in his book the Art of Encouragement, Jordan Montgomery, he also talks about the importance of creating a culture • • where encouragement is woven into the fabric • • of your organization of your school. • • • And so I mentioned that a little bit in number one. And so there's some overlap between number one and number two. • • But we know that as school leaders, it's our responsibility to create the culture. • • • We are the culture creators and sustainers and protectors. • • And so it's your responsibility as the leader of your school or your division • • to create an environment where appreciation and encouragement is just a part of the daily routine. It's just a thing that we do. • • • And I remember at my school, um, several years ago, • • • we introduced, um, mindfulness, • and there were some people who were trained in that, some teachers, • • and just their consistency in • • presenting it and modeling it • and doing it in the classrooms and creating • • some, um, lessons and some activities around it. And doing it during the religious services and just, it just became part of the circulatory system of our school. It became part of our culture. • • • But I remember at the beginning thinking, well, this is just kind of like, • • I don't know, a band aid or just something that isn't going to stick around. It's sort of a flavor of the month kind of thing that we're going to do for a while and then not do anymore. • • • But mindfulness became a part of our culture, and it was because of that consistency and that determination • that it did. And so we want encouragement • • to be part of our culture at our schools. • • And so this is true about your teachers, but it's also true about your students and staff and even parents, you know, expressing that appreciation. And so it's not easy to do. • • Um, • • • • but, you know, there can be. • How do we, how do we show. So I'll just jump to the example and keep things moving here. So how do we keep it? How do we, um, try to create a culture of appreciation? Well, • you know, I think that recognition is a big part of that. And so if you have a daily memo or a weekly memo with the shout outs, um, some of our schools are religious schools. And once a week or so we're getting together for chapel or mass or Tefillah in a Jewish day school or • • assemblies, um, • • • you know, those are great times for shout outs, um, about the teachers from you or even from the kids. • • Um, thank you notes, um, the handwritten note. You know, I'm a big fan of that. And • • you know, these things do take time. And I'm not saying you're writing notes all the time for every staff member, but, um, that regular recognition • • helps to create a culture of appreciation. • • And here's the thing, when, when appreciation just starts to become part of your culture, • it just builds such a strong sense of community. • And I also have seen that it motivates others to contribute more and to really do their best. And so it's not going to motivate everyone, but what you're trying to do, you know, you've got your rock stars • and then you've got your fence sitters, and then you've got your teachers that are kind of • • just • • stuck. You know, they're just kind of doing what they need to do to get the paycheck. • • Well, what I've seen is, is that if you create a culture of appreciation and encouragement • and recognition, • • that the fence sitters • • • tend to follow the rock stars. • • And then the, • • um, ones that are stuck, the ones that are kind of doing the minimum, • they become marginalized, which is what you want. You don't want them to become the critical mass in your school's culture. And so this is something that can actually move the needle. I've seen it, and I know that it can happen at your school as well. • •
True encouragement is about valuing effort rather than perfection
Okay, so we're talking about the seven • • • strategies, the seven ways to turn encouragement into your superpower. • • And we're up to number three, which is encourage effort over perfection. • • • And so, again, in the art of encouragement book that we're talking about today, • • um, the author, • uh, Montgomery, he talks about • • how true encouragement, • • • quote, true encouragement is about valuing effort rather than perfection. So we get that. And as school leaders, you know, • • • we have to recognize that we have different • • • people, the different types of personalities in the teachers that we're leading, in the staff that we're leading. • And we can't expect perfection. Schools are messy. Schools are emotional places. Schools are complex places. And there's going to be • • • things where, • • you know that the bus comes, the buses come late, um, because of traffic, and then someone has to stay late or there's going to be, you know, someone forgot to put that thing in the memo. And now there's an early dismissal. And it's like, I didn't know about that. I had planned a test for that period. And so there's going to be things that are messy. And so we can't have the standard be perfection. We just want the • • standard to be, um, the hard work and just to try, • • um, and to value the effort and the hard work of our teachers rather than focus so much on outcomes. And I get it. Outcomes are important as far as test scores and, um, • • • • things that are tangible and the metrics • that we can measure. But let's face it, so much of what goes on in our schools is difficult to measure. • • And so we want to model that growth mindset. And, you know, if you want to go back and check out episode four, how to turn, um, • • pedestal kids into gritty kids, by implementing growth mindset at your school. That's an episode that gets downloaded a lot, even • more than two years later since it was put up. Um, • but growth mindset at your school can be a huge game changer. It certainly was at our school. It changed a lot of lives. Not just the kids, but the teachers as well. • • Um, and so we're talking about showing appreciation and giving encouragement. How does this go together with what I just said about, um, focusing on effort over perfection? Well, I think that when teachers are trying something, when they're getting out of their comfort zone, they're trying a new teaching method or they're trying a new lesson, • um, is to really heap the praise on about their courage to experiment. Because anytime someone's getting out of their comfort zone, it's so good for them, it's so good for our schools. But we need to notice it and acknowledge it and recognize it, and then they'll also feel more comfortable in taking those risks and trying those things. Do you want your teachers to just run it back every year, year after year, with the same lessons, • • • um, • and multiplied by X number of years that they work at your school? Of course the answer is no. And so • • • • • if they're worried that they're going to get their hand smacked because a lesson doesn't go well, or their room gets too loud because they're doing a group activity and they get dinged for that, you know, we have to try • and encourage those things when they try something different. • And then for our students, of course, • • we're going to focus on progress. We're going to focus on the process. • • Um, we're going to give that process praise. We're not going to praise them for their grades or for their intelligence. And so just this shift in focus for us, we can model that growth mindset, and then our teachers are going to feel more empowered to take risks, and then maybe they will do things. You know, they will. Innovation, okay. Is not always comfortable. And if we want our teachers to be continuing to, • um, • • do best practice and stay on the edge, the cutting edge of what's out there and to be curious and to try things, • then not only do we have to model that, but we have to support them when they try it, and maybe when things don't go • • • all that well. •
Number four: Give encouragement when things are not going well at your school
All right, on to number four. Number four, how are we going to turn encouragement into a superpower for you and your school? Number four, you're going to be a source of support during tough times. So this one's pretty straightforward. I'm not going to spend a lot of time on it. But encouragement is not just for the good times. • • Um, it's easier to encourage people • during the good times, but it's especially important • when things are not going well at our school. • And so some of you have already started to think about COVID • • and, you know, that year or two years that were so tough when we were doing school in person, • • and it was such a challenge, and it took so much out of you, you know, that's when the teachers needed encouragement the most. And I know what you're Thinking, you know, when I think back on it, it's like, yeah, we encouraged them and then they were still mad or they still felt like we were, you know, not doing enough for them and stuff like that. And there were a lot of things going on there. A lot of people were scared to come to work. • • • We were basically doing something that was the impossible. And then it became the norm. And so, you know, we've learned lessons from that. But there are going to be other tough times in our schools. And it might be that the school is facing a tough time, or it might be that that individual teacher or • employee is facing a tough time. • And so • • • • we're just aware. You know, that's the thing, is to be aware and to have empathy, to try and view it through their eyes, • • um, to try to help manage the stress, • to try and be flexible. You know, a lot of your teachers, a lot of my teachers, • they're at the point where they're starting their, um, elderly parents are. Their needs are increasing and, um, • • • • the flexibility that sometimes they might need, • um, becomes, • • ah, an issue. Um, and so we just want to try, um, of course it's hard because we're exhausted, we're stressed out more than usual if times aren't going well at school, if there's some challenge that's facing the school. But that's when we need to really be encouraging others the most. And so, again, empathy, • • um, • • • • reminding yourself and reminding your teachers that these setbacks are all part of a school year, part of a journey, • • and then to try to help them stay focused on the vision and mission of the school and to reaffirm • • to your teachers how much value they add, how much of a difference they're making, the more you can reconnect a teacher to their core. • • Uh, they're compelling why, you know, that's all the way back in episode one. But they're compelling why of why they're doing this. • • If we can connect them with that, • they're going to be more encouraged during the tough times. • • And then the last thing on this point is that we want to give support and optimism, but not toxic positivity. • • And I'll link that, I did an episode on that, I'll link that in the show notes. But again, • um, we want to be optimists. We want to be like, okay, we're going to get through this and then lead by example and then do the work necessary to get everyone through whatever this is. • • • Um, but we're not going to be toxic positivity. And the Titanic is slipping beneath the surface. And we're running around saying, everything's fine, everything's fine. That's not • • credible. And we're not going to do that. Okay, so we're going to be a source of support during tough times. •
Seven ways to turn encouragement into your superpower in school leadership
All right, so we're talking about the seven ways to turn encouragement into your superpower. • Number one, encourage with authenticity. Number two, create a culture of appreciation. • Number three, encourage effort over perfection. • • • • Number four, be a source of support during tough times. And number five, • lead by example with positive language. • • So let me explain what I mean by that. Um, • • • • we have to lead by example all the time. • • But the way that I speak to my team, the way that I speak to students • • sets the tone for my entire division or for the entire school, if you're head of school.
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