Go-to-Market… or Go-to-Bed?

Some go-to-market slides make investors lean in. Others make them fall asleep faster than a warm chamomile tea. In this episode of Zero to Traction, JDM, Cameron, and Cass rip into some fake-but-way-too-realistic GTM slides and play the game: Go-to-Market… or Go-to-Bed?

✅ What makes a go-to-market slide instantly cringe-worthy

✅ The difference between channels and strategy (please, for the love of traction)

✅ How to avoid founder delusion, slide bloat, and the awareness trap

✅ Three real-time breakdowns of GTM slides: the good, the bad, and the Kombucha-core

✅ Why “launch and growth” shouldn’t be on the same slide—ever

Also: JDM has thoughts on Seinfeld, Cameron defends the Sacramento Kings with the power of playoff hope, and Cass reminds us that Fast & Furious launched a Pontiac into space—so your pivot probably isn’t that wild.

Takeaways and Roast Highlights

Slide 1: Audience Soup with a Side of Kombucha

* Target: Gen Z professionals, remote teams, creators, nonprofits, HR depts…

* Channels: TikTok, webinars, LinkedIn, Clubhouse (yes, still), and IRL events

* Verdict: This isn’t a strategy. It’s a panic attack with a Canva account.

🧂“You just tried to sell me a Kombucha and invited me to a Slack I’ll never open.” – JDM

Slide 2: The Mindfulness Funnel

* Target: Tech-savvy millennial parents

* Funnel: Reels → Checklist → Drip campaign → Subscription

* Verdict: Aesthetically pleasing but no clear through-line from problem to purchase

🧂 “You’re a hypothesis with a Squarespace account, not a movement.” – Cass

Slide 3: B2B Logistics Milk Toast

* Target: Ops managers at mid-size logistics firms

* Strategy: Cold outreach + newsletters + trade shows

* Verdict: Better structure, but painfully generic. Needs sharper ICP and more than “we’re going to a trade show, I guess.”

🧂 “This isn’t bad, it’s just… bland. Like if an email template got tenure.” – Cass

Frivolous Thoughts

* JDM: Some franchises (Fast & Furious, Lost) don’t know when to stop. Seinfeld did. Be like Seinfeld.

* Cameron: The Kings are (somehow) in the playoff mix. Hope is alive.

* Cass: If Fast & Furious can launch a Pontiac Fiero into space, your weird pivot is probably fine.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit zerototraction.substack.com