649 - Planning to Care For Abby & Grayson After Abby's Back Surgery

Well the time is here! Abby is finally getting a back surgery we knew would need to be done despite all the cortisone shots and physical therapy. I don’t share this so you can plan when your next family member needs you for a surgery. I’m sharing all my planning thoughts and iterations because where else do we hear this stuff? How do you learn how others plan? This is for any event you have coming up that requires a lot of shifting and planning. I’m going into a time where there will be a plan and I can not just “not feel like it.” I have to do what is on the plan in order to have success. 

Operation “Take Care of Grayson”

What does this mean for me? Full time primary care giver to Grayson. Honestly, I’m using the lens that this is a unique opportunity to spend these months with Grayson and support Abby.

The first thing I knew I needed was to think about how I was going to entertain this active big 4 year old. I have a routine I am going to try out based on tiny details of care that Grayson needs and what he’s used to. And I’ve thought about a lil lunch box I can pack for on the go, what all needs to be in my purse at all times for Grayson, and a backpack in the back of the car with things we may need when we are out. The routine is in small chunks of time that I can start to give back to Abby as she recovers. 

Next Layer: The Family

When going into a time of new demands on your time and capacity, you need to look at it in reverse order to figure out how to still meet as many personal and family obligations as possible. So next my brain went to the rest of my family. How will I care for Greg, Joey, and help Abby through recovery. Greg has this trip to the Keys planned to take with Joey and his dad. It’s important and I encouraged them to still take it. It’s during the first week after Abby’s surgery. I’m asking Greg to take on a few tasks to make sure we all get fed and Grayson gets to and from Daycare. 

I’ve been reading up on this surgery and the recovery process. I have tried to consider the physical things Abby may need to aid her in her recovery. But I have also been considering the emotional toll this may have on her. Might be tough watching me play mom to her child for a while. I will do my best to include Abby to keep her spirits up. And the physical therapy! Likely I will have those scheduled before the surgery takes place. 

I’m sneaking in an adult field trip before surgery to fill my cup and one after Abby’s surgery to give me something to look forward to. I also looked at work and rearranged the things I need to be in person at, to the mornings, when I will be in the office. I’ve decided to work from home for the first week. And Saturday showed itself as a day I can take advantage of being in the office because Greg can be home with Abby and Grayson on Saturdays. I will be working on my dissertation starting now because I have time and then Saturdays. Please cross your fingers all the research I’m going to do in advance about Prospective Memory will be worth it because I have not got the green like on this yet. But it’s a risk, for times sake, that I have to take. 

How Will My Planning Day Workbook Look This Time?

So after taking 32 minutes to tell you all about my planning, I opened the Planning Day workbook. I walked through the workbook and shared, off the cuff, my thoughts about how I will plan according to each page. Ha! I was actually caught off guard on a couple of upcoming things like birthdays and our anniversary. Yeah, Abby needs an oil change and I checked but my car is good for a while. These are the things you should be thinking about going into something this big, what can I get done now to make this upcoming busy time more smooth?

I am trying to think of everything. I will continue to mull over my calendar and rearrange things as necessary. This is a ridiculous amount of planning that my future self will thank me for doing. This is the kind of detailed planning we do in Planning Day! 

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