172 - How Losing a Loved One Affects Your Phase of Life

Welcome to the final episode of my three-part series all about the different phases of life and how specific life experiences can cause them to overlap. In this week's episode, I talk about what happens when we lose a loved one. Specifically, I focus on losing a parent. It's rather poignant for me that when I recorded the episode, it was 8 years to the day that my father had passed away. Losing a loved one moves you into three phases of life Survival When your parent passes away, immediately you're thrust into the survival phase. You have a lot to do. You have to plan the funeral, speak to other family members, help organize the estate, and many other things at an incredibly stressful and emotional time of your life. You're in the survival phase. Accumulation You will accumulate a lot of belongings from your parents. At such an emotional time, you don't want to let go of things in haste. So I recommend finding an off-site storage unit for a certain period of time just so you can take time to decide what to keep and what to let go of. If you're anything like me, you may find yourself trading-up many items that are actually nicer than those you already have! Downsizing & Legacy After about a year, you enter the downsizing and legacy phase. The legacy phase comes first and it lasts for about 3-4 years. You start to think about what you'll keep longer term that once belonged to your parents. What do you want to be a part of their legacy? It's all about how you're going to take the essence of the person who passed away and put it to use in a meaningful way. I really recommend finding interesting and creative ways to keep the items that carry sentimental value to you. For example, I have a shadow box and every time I find little things that remind me of my Dad, I put them in the shadow box in the basement. About year 5, you're going to find yourself focusing more on downsizing. At this time, not only will you be thinking about what you want to keep that once belonged to your parents, but you start to think about yourself, too. You start to look at YOUR belongings and think about what will be YOUR legacy. You realize that someone has to get rid of it all someday! I could record podcasts for weeks about how different life events, in addition to our chronological age, impact what organizational phase of life we feel like we are most in at any one moment. My goal in recording these podcasts was not for you to be able to better categorize your phase of life, but to recognize that we are all floating between the phases at any one time and can learn and grow at our own pace and stage of life. A special thank you to this week's podcast sponsor, the National Association of Senior Move Managers!