FMOOD 0230: Difficult Conversations

In a marriage, you will have difficult conversations. It's going to happen, and sometimes, these conversations may involve financial issues. It's a well-known fact that many married couples list financial difficulties as being a primary cause of strife and conflict.

 

The key is to realize prior to sitting down and having this conversation together is that you don't want the conversation to take an angry or fearful tone. Instead, you want to approach the discussion about the difficulties with a calm mindset. Both you and your spouse need to simply take a deep breath before you start, and realize that the two of you are doing better than most by simply taking action steps towards sitting down together. It's the first step to becoming a truly unstoppable team.

 

I highly recommend that you don't start out the initial conversation with a bunch of spreadsheets, charts, graphs, diagrams, etc. It's time to discuss the emotional side of things and get that out of the way first. It's time to address the possible fears and issues that are causing anxiety and panic that may be settling in right now and to squash it before it gets out of control.

 

Once you've calmed things down on the emotional front, it's time to set realistic expectations. These expectations should allow for you to take action steps and experience some wins in order to gain confidence in the overall process. Keep the end game in mind while you are discussing the preliminary action steps that need to be taken. Your focus on the end game is crucial right now.

 

You'll come to eventually find that there is a very real possibility of resolution. You'll finally see some light in the murky darkness that is the overwhelming burden of debt. Both you and your spouse will finally be in agreement about things, and both of you will take on what needs to be done and do it while working together, for what may be the first time, as a team.

 

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