FMOOD 0242: Breakin' Up Is Hard To Do

There are plenty of long-term relationships out there. Some are successful because they are truly healthy relationships, and the people involved in the relationship know how to properly handle conflict when times get rough and how to care for one another all of the other times.

 

Other relationships that aren’t so great may still be lengthy but perhaps are unhealthy because the people involved are more or less sticking it out but not really focusing on improving the relationship. In these circumstances, the relationship itself becomes more of a stagnant fixture; it’s something that you know exists but don’t necessarily consider the benefits of improving things or even ending the relationship and moving on. As the old saying goes, breaking up is hard to do.

 

I’m definitely not a relationship guru, so before you get too excited, this episode has nothing to do with your relationships with others. It’s primarily focused on what could be a particularly bad relationship, though. Of course, I’m referring to your relationship with debt.

 

Most of us fall somewhere on a spectrum when it comes to debt. Some of us are quite comfortable being in debt and don’t see the rush to get out of debt. Others are panicking right now and will do whatever it takes to get their debt obligations out of control and even gone completely. Still others are somewhere in-between. They know that racking up high balances on credit cards or taking out several loans is irresponsible, but they tell themselves that someday they will pay the debts down. Someday they’ll get a better control on things.

 

The bottom line is this. If you’re okay with your debt causing you torment and pain, even periodically, then you’re in an unhealthy relationship. You need to get out yesterday. As with many relationships, even the unhealthy ones, breaking up can be hard to do. You’ve become used to having debt around. You met when you bought yourself some new clothes for your first real job. Debt was with you when you bought your first new car. It was with you on your family vacations. It helped you to buy your first home and the home you live in now. Yes, it has its flaws just like anything else, but it even helped you to attend college. How can you even consider living without debt when it has been with you for all of these years?

 

Just like any break-up, you need to see the debt for what it really is. It sneaks in ever so gently in the form of that first department store credit card. Next, it’s helping you to attend college. Before you know it, debt is entrenched in everything you have – your cars, your home, your family vacations – but without you even realizing it, debt has become a thief. It has stolen your time with family as you work endlessly to keep up with payments. It has stolen your peace of mind as you lie awake worrying about how to get out of the mess that you’re in. It has stolen your marriage as you and your spouse spiral downwards with the constant arguments about finances. Debt is not your friend. Debt is not a beloved family member. Debt isn’t even your drunk uncle that you have to tolerate at family reunions. Debt is your enemy, and the faster you realize this, the more quickly you can kick debt out for good.

 

It’s time to take action and break up with debt today. Debt may not go away as quickly as you would like it to, but telling debt to hit the curb is the first step. When you stop relying on debt, it will go away eventually over time. Show debt who’s really the boss in the relationship, and turn your back now that you know the truth. Let debt find someone else, because you two were never a good match to begin with.

 

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