Against the soundtrack of a life support machine’s rhythmic beep, The Explosive Alan Podcast’s eyes finally flicker open. Weakly, it attempts to rise from its prolonged slumber, limbs limp, head heavy, throat parched. A passing nurse spots this unexpected recovery and rushes over, immediately guiding the straw within a nearby cup of water to its cracked lips. It takes a short sip, then mutters something barely audible. “I’m sorry, can you say that again?” ExAlPod motions for the nurse to come closer; he duly obeys. With the nurse’s ear now inches from its mouth, it quietly repeats itself: “We’re back, bitches.”
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