Being Forced to Stay Gone

Caregiving for Dementia

Being Forced to Stay Gone!

Episode # 63

 

 

I just got back from DC pod Fest. I had to force myself to stay away from the house because I was mentally still here, still taking care of Mama. I found it very difficult to focus on the sessions at DC pod Fest because I couldn’t get my mind to let go of the caregiving.

I want to thank Jennifer Crawford and her team at DC pod Fest for putting together a great event. The event was fabulously put together. The event was jam-packed full of great podcasting information. I’m already looking forward to DC pod Fest in 2019.

With that said, though I found it very difficult to focus on any of the sessions that I was attending because I couldn’t get my mind off of what was going on here at the house. I was still caregiving for my mother even though I was physically gone. My mind would not leave the house.

One of the problems that the main caregiver for someone has is getting away from all the caregiving. In other words, you may get physically away. You may be able to physically leave the caregiving to someone else, but you are mentally still the one caregiving for that one. That’s the situation I found myself in this weekend. Yes, I physically got away, but mentally I could not leave the house.

DC pod Fest was Friday evening and all day Saturday, I left the house at about 4-ish on Friday evening, because the event starts until 7 PM. So, at about 6:30 PM I called to check to see how things were here to house. I was told they were fine. Go and enjoy your event. So I get I enjoyed Friday nights event. Up until about 11 PM. When I found myself all alone, I was wondering what was going on. So I call home again to see how things were going on. Everything was fine. I was told she got her medicine and now she was sleeping.

I was ready to come home Friday night at 11 o’clock. Only through the support of the boy and the wife was able to stay and get some sleep Friday night, but I didn’t get to sleep that I thought I would. Mama usually gets me up around 2 AM-ish and around 4:30 AM and wouldn’t you know I got up around 2 AM-ish and around 4 AM-ish. I got up at 5:30 AM to go to the event for Saturday. I thought about calling but then I thought no they’re in bed. Nobody wants to be wake up at 5:30 AM when a phone call.

I did fairly well. Saturday up until about 8 AM-ish and that’s all I could stand I had to call and find out what was going on. I called about 4 times to see what was going on. And finally, the boy told me he said daddy quit calling she’s okay, she’s fine. Go and enjoy the rest of the weekend. Well, I didn’t quit calling but without that kind of support. I’ve come home much earlier than I should have.

Sunday morning I came home around 9 AM and the wife was awake and had just gotten up, but the boy and mom were still sleeping. I was home about an hour or so, and Mama woke up. So I went out to the living room, which is her bedroom and as soon as she saw me her face just lit up. She had missed me. She was glad to see me. Then at times, she asked me who I am.

            I understand while I was gone on Saturday, my brother and his wife came down to see mom for her birthday which was Sunday, and now I wasn’t here, but in times past. Mama recognizes my brother’s wife over my brother at times. Now the longer they’re here, she gets to recognize my brother.

            I guess that’s one of the strangest things about this devastating disease called, dementia. Sometimes, Mama recognizes us and sometimes she doesn’t. No matter how long it’s been since she seen you.