Today’s guest is Dr. Robert Glover – an internationally recognized authority on the Nice Guy Syndrome. He wrote No More Mr. Nice Guy – a book I have read twice and found to be really insightful in understanding the male psyche. As a result of his work, Dr. Glover has helped thousands of nice guys transform from being passive, resentful victims to empowered, integrated males.
A self-professed recovering nice guy himself, he took the time to chat with me about bad boys and nice guys, and how being nice can cause resentment, anxiety and repressed anger in relation to getting the sex life, relationship, success, among other things that they think they deserve.
Specific areas we discussed are:
His background as a psychotherapist on marriage and family therapy, and even earlier as a minister for a fundamentalist church (1:40). His current life living in a place where the sun always shines, with his amazing wife, and the ‘complications’ of having grandkids and kids of e’ (0). The events precedent to writing No More Mr. Nice Guy: marriages, affairs, sex-life issues, therapies, and why he wished his book had been available during all those experiences (9:28). How working as a relationship and marriage therapist led him to found the No More Mr. Nice Guy men’s group, and eventually writing an autobiographical chronicle of his failures (16:14). Why he sees authenticity as the reason for his success, how it played a big part in naming a book he is currently working on, and how it still challenges him in certain parts of his life (20:40). What is the nice guy mantra, how the nice guy is created, the psychological principles behind it, and how it gives birth to shame (27:45). The concept of the three covert contracts that nice guys live by to get their needs met, and manage the underlying shame (34:22). Why there are more similarities than differences between the nice guys and the bad boys (39:35). The common themes and complementary principles that run across self-help towards success books despite coming from different sources (42:15). His perspective on feminism and society’s tendency to express things as a dichotomy (46:07). ing boundaries by inviting people to higher consciousness and be more introspective (52:22). The key takeaways of the idea of a reciprocal cooperative relationship and turning covert contracts into overt contracts (1:01:03). His recommendations to consciously practice honesty, integrity, and authenticity, and keeping connection with other men (1:02:30)
This episode provided an introspective look into the male mind and I truly hope that you enjoyed and learned as much I did.
To get in touch with Robert Glover, you can find his contact details in our show notes at www.theintimatelifestyle.com/nomoremrniceguy.
You can also buy a copy of his book by going to www.theintimatelifestyle.com/myresources
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