EP082: Master and Slave Relationships and Healthy Power Dynamics
Following up on last week's guest Dana Pharant who is a dominatrix – we dive a little deeper this time with my guest on today’s show – Master Severyn Kain.
Master Severyn is a BDSM Master, alternative lifestyle presenter, and kink event organizer who has been active in the realm of BDSM, kink, and fetishism for the last 10 years (if to include the years he's been lurking and playing spectator on the events – it will total 15 years).
Today we discuss the development of his interest in BDSM and kink, events and activities in the community, defining terms used in the lifestyle, the relationship dynamics in BDSM, and integrating healthy power dynamics rooted from BDSM to traditional relationships.
Another one of those eye-opening episodes for me, one will certainly learn a lot in this episode and explore a lifestyle often talked about behind closed doors. Some of the specific subjects we’ve discussed are:
How he got into the BDSM scene, his source of information on this lifestyle before the dawn of internet (1:35; 4:35). How the internet helped the BDSM community to reach more people and how it served as a major resource for munches and events on the BDSM communities (3:46). The background of his name – and how he sees his name not as just a title but a responsibility and commitment (6:20). The difference between a submissive and a slave, the concept of collaring (8:31; 26:16), society’s stigma with submissives, and how being one entails strength, a nurturing nature, and being in touch with vulnerability, sensitivity and emotions (10:33; 42:00). BDSM, DS, and MS explained, the power dynamics in the relationship, (12:18) and how it can be a lot healthier form of relationship than the traditional ones, what vanilla relationships can learn from a BDSM-based relationship which is built with more honesty, transparency, accountability, respect and explicit limitations thus mitigating power struggles (33:30). Distinguishing a dominant, from someone who simply wants to dominate, or someone who is domineering (24:36). How age can also be determinant to openness and expressing expectations – as the BDSM crowd tend to fall in the 35 and up age group (35:39). The mistake of newbies getting overexcited with the idea of BDSM that instead of taking the time to find a good BDSM partner/master through meeting and connecting, they can fall prey to those who are just in for the sex, those who can get abusive or those not trained well in DS or MS relationships. (37:28). His take on the 50 Shades phenomenon despite the books' inability to represent the lifestyle correctly, and what he perceives as the author's motivation to writing the books (49:47). What he sees the future of kink and BDSM will be with the developments brought by technology (55:34). Funny but real anecdotes of BDSM and kink newbies' jitters, anxiety, and experiences when they first become a part of the community (59:16)To learn more about Master Severyn Kain go to: www.theintimatelifestyle.com/masterandslaverelationships
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