HUMBOWL - Spirituality, Personal Growth, Meditation, Higher Consciousness
Religion & Spirituality:Spirituality
I lost myself in EGO (2 steps for realignment)
This February marked the biggest turning point in my life, I had a spiritual awakening. After a series of synchronicities and miracles, I finally had a deep knowing of my authentic self and my true nature of being. My Ego was still present but it was dominated by my authentic self and the energy I was bringing forth. Much like darkness fades when you introduce light. It was amazing, for the first time in years, I felt confident, I felt I was whole, no “thing” can make me happier than I am because inside of me was the entire universe, the state of being I was living from was total love, abundance, joy, and peace. Out of this excitement, I started writing about my experiences and record videos, trying to help others get to where I was. Slowly but surely, the ego crept underneath my intentions. Disguising itself as me, I started to identify with this part of myself. My self-worth began to be defined by worldly things like accomplishments, friends, achievements, mistakes, possessions or the lack thereof. I started judging others for their actions. Expecting the whole world to behave like I was. Assuming that because they were not like me they must be slothful, indecisive or selfish. Possessions, accomplishments, friends, and mistakes are not inherently bad whatsoever. It’s the attachment and identification with these things that set us up on a never-ending hamster wheel of striving and never arriving. Wanting something we don’t have, assuming we won’t be truly whole without it. Regretting past decisions assuming our lives would be perfect if we had done something differently. I experienced all of this and the pain that the ego brings forth when your life is going according to plan. Yesterday I stumbled upon a video I’d made 6 months ago. It blew away to see how far of my spiritual path I had become. The lower vibrations of problems and stresses had slowly taken me down and looking back I realized something needed to change. After a series of meditations and journal entries and reading the Power of Intention by Wayne Dyer, I’ve reintroduced the light inside of me and the darkness has faded away… for now. I will write about how I bounced back from the darkest depths of my mind in hopes that it might help someone out there who is, unfortunately, dealing with the same circumstance. Or at the very least, 6 months from now, if I get lost, I can look back at my past self and take my own advice. 1 — Realize your connection to everything. This is something I never spoke about before because I didn’t quite understand it until I started getting into deeper meditations. At a certain stage of meditation when everything becomes still, the moment is infinite. It feels like it has never started, and it will never end. It just is, always has been, and always will be. This is where everything in this illusory world of duality began. A birthless, deathless, infinite space. If this source is what has created everything then it is what connects all of us. George Harrison sang “Arrive without traveling, see all without looking, do all without doing.” Quoting Lao Tzu, I think he was telling us, we can’t acquire what we already have within us. You can know all, and see all just by reaching that place of undividable silence within you. The lyrics to my next song are there, all guidance I could possibly ask for is there. I will go more in-depth on this subject once I gather more experience with meditation. So far though, I am loving the bliss I carry after a wonderful dose of this silent time with source. 2 — Let go, surrender and trust. I’m currently writing a song about a moment of surrender I had this summer while swimming far out into crashing waves during a rainstorm. I was fed up with the regrets and problems that I was carrying and I had no clue how to let go of these problems. So I swam until my friends at the shore seemed like specs in the distance. I then decided to let go of all desire to want things to be different.
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